Life before 2008 05 Nov 2005 05:40 pm
S-A-TUR-DAY
- Who knew that living here would hurt sometimes? Not the kind of big, major, catastrophic hurt…I do have more perspective than that. But maybe the best way to describe it is the discomfort and longing felt at oh, say, about 8 months along in a pregnancy. We are close enough to living one part of our Dream For Life that we can taste it, smell it, see it when we close our eyes and inhale deeply. But there’s still some things that need to come to pass, some time that needs to tick. We’re close enough now to know it’s going to happen; the mother *will* birth that baby and smell it’s sweet head. And what comes after won’t be all roses. After all, the best dreams are those that have enough reality in them to actually be attainable.
- Today I took my girl to a movie about horses. Dreamer, starring Dakota Fanning. What 8 year old girl isn’t in love with horses? She laughed, I cried. It was a good little heartwarming story with a pretty horse, beautiful country, a soaring soundtrack…what really got me though was all the dewey fields, ranch fencing, and gorgeous barns.
- The Greenbelt is positively pulsing with autumn energy. Leaves in more colors than I knew…today I saw a leaf that was green on the edges, then red, then yellow in the middle and light brown along it’s viens. Amazing. After a good walk we ended up at the swings, and I got on. I used to love to swing but probably haven’t been on one since David and I dated, a honkin’ eleven years ago! It was glorious…blue sky, damp air, all those leaves. My hair is to the middle of my back and it was down today. For a few short moments I didn’t feel anything like a thirty-something mother of five babies. Not that there’s anything remotely regretable about actually being one but it was freeing and transformative to fly through the air like that and feel so young!
- I realized that in this area, where the kind of land we want to end up with is down right common, I can NOT fall in love with every single house we look at. It doesn’t matter how optimistic I can be, instantly seeing past a house’s faults to what it’s potential is. The bottom line is that there is ONE great place for us and lots of “good enoughs”. I need to toughen up a bit!
It’s been a good day. Tomorrow my parents will be here for a quick trip through town. It’s suposed to rain and cold air should be blowing in. This week we want to gather acorns, go rollerblading, bird watch, and paint. I can’t believe it’s the end of the first week of November already. And so it goes…
