Life before 2008 21 Feb 2006 03:29 pm
I’m in a purging state of mind.
My apologies to Billy Joel. Oh, and the garbage men of our city, who have had to deal with piles that look like we are still in the process of moving.
I feel used and abused. The clutter monster has attempted another take over. I don’t buy all that “feng shay” mumbo jumbo that I can’t spell, pronounce, or instill. But there is something to be said for the power of dark, lurking corners where light can’t penetrate because there are too many boxes in the way. Something to be said for the arrangement of furniture in a room and how it affects the senses.
Last week I tackled the kids’ rooms. We had piles of boxes, floor to ceiling, in these little crooked rooms. Boxes with photos and negatives and baby memorbilia. Boxes with all the various sizes of clothing to keep and pass on to the next sibling. All of it too sensitive for our non-climate controlled storage area. Crammed into every corner was the paper trash, little gadgets and collectibles the kids gather, then loose sight of where to put it all and so they “stash and dash”.
9 bags of trash, the purchase of two large plastic bins, and those wonderful “BIG” Ziploc bags later, the rooms have a clean, peaceful feeling again. I kept only what I absolutely had to or earnestly loved. The rest went away.
Today I hit the craft and school closet. More used and abused feelings there. The homeschooling industry is huge and I feel taken advantage of as I gaze at my shelves of half-tried curriculum. Little systems for teaching phonics. Too many math programs to admit to. Scads of “living books” picked by someone else that never resonated and therefore were never read to the subsequent students of that age because I couldn’t bring myself to pull them out again.
It creats apathy. Dare I say I’ve found myself bored with homeschooling? Tired of it? Not willing to quit because the kids are thriving but feeling nauseated with every approach to that closet?
Sunday a church friend asked how school was going and I said I thought I was going to throw the whole thing away and start over. Today I just about did.
Gone are the half-colored in books, the mostly done workbooks, the boxes of little letter tiles I never take out. Getting sold or given away are the story books that we didn’t enjoy yet were sold to our gullible selves as “must haves”. With each toss into the trash bag I felt myself get lighter. Like the real purpose was coming into focus.
It’s kind like when you have a first baby and you register and get all kinds of paraphenalia that you “need”. And then by baby number four you figure out you need breasts (or another milk supply), diapers, some basic clothing, and a sling. A good bag and a wooden rattle or two. On crazy days, a swing or seat my come in handy and you need a car seat. But that’s about it. Streamlining brings freedom. Gives you more time to actually hold, sing to, and teach the sweet baby rather than organize more STUFF.
And that is what I think I’m sick of: organizing school STUFF. I don’t want planning books and charts, or worse…some “guide” that makes me it’s slave and thus overlook my kids’ faces. I’m sick of book lists put together by other “experts” that I buy thinking they will educate my children…when what I really need to put my energy into is actually READING to them. Not assembling more lists and systems.
David wants us to READ. Learn math and explore. Be together, share with one another, enjoy one another. I want to stop yelling in frustration. Whaday know…one leads to the other.
My closet now is re-stocked with three kinds of paper, crayons, colored pencils, puzzles, clay. Reference books and a nature study crate ready to take to the park with watercolors, sketch books, and field guides. There is also math and phonics and our favorite history books and CD’s. Our composer CD’s are ready to be used again as are our library cards.
It’s ironic to me that homeschooling parents, especially mothers, can still feel guilty for “not spending enough time with thier children”. We’re with them all day! Or are we? I think my problem is that I’ve been here in body but my spirit is often elsewhere. How sad that the “elsewhere” has often been just maintaining clutter. Trash man, take it away!
on 21 Feb 2006 at 6:15 pm 1.Bannergranny said …
You are a brave girl….most of us should practice purging the clutter more often. I to have been tossing, giving away, selling…and it does feel good. We think we have to have so much stuff to make us happy or comfortable, or smart, or whatever. I am learning to use less of alot, clothes, dishes, cleaning products, because there is no room for it anyway. I look at the pile in the storage and dread the day we have to move it. I will have another big sale, and lots more will go. Think of how much we could accomplish for the kingdom of God, if we didn’t have to take care of so much stuff. Way to go girl…you are inspiring.