Living-Deliberately.com

this article, by Rosalind Wiseman, whose book Queen Bees and Wannabees was the inspiration for the movie Mean Girls, had these little gems to offer, in the realm of Momma Drama:

One trait of a Queen Bee Mom:

If she or her child does apologize for something, they expect a return apology: “Well, I’m so sorry that you took it the wrong way.”

Sidekick Moms:

Is very focused on getting her child into the “right” activities and classes and sees her motivation as based solely on acting in the best interest of the child.

Starbucks & Sympathy Moms:

Have you ever had another mom approach you after you’ve had an unpleasant encounter with someone else, offer to be a source of comfort, agree with your assessment of the confrontation, and then suddenly turn on you at a convenient (for her) time? That’s what Starbucks & Sympathy Moms do.

Two kinds of Wanna-bees:

Torn Wannabes are unpredictable and frustrating. Usually everyone has a good friend who falls squarely into this category. She’s the mom who privately supports you when you’re in conflict with someone but abandons you at the moment of confrontation. She never tells you exactly what she thinks. It’s not that she’s deliberately being deceptive; usually she genuinely doesn’t know what she thinks because she wants to please the person in front of her or the one with the most power.

The Desperate Wanna-bee…doesn’t realize when her actions don’t match her purported values. But at least she’s predictable. She’ll always please the person with the most power, and she will always back her up.

Steamrolled Moms:

The Steamrolled Mom sacrifices her needs and judgments because she wants to avoid conflict; she’s the one who’s always saying, “Whatever you want is fine.” She’s unlikely to stand up for what she thinks is right because she’s afraid to offend and wants to be “nice.”

Floater Moms:

Floater Moms can move easily from one group to another without arousing resentment. They embody “nice popularity” in that they’re genuinely liked for who they are.

Reformed Moms (woohoo!! A mature role!):

Reformed Moms are able to analyze their behavior and make improvements when and where necessary. These moms — especially the ones who used to be Queen Bees — often have the best sense of humor. Reformed Queen Bees have kept all their positive attributes (they’re charismatic, fun to be around, intelligent, capable, and can make fun of themselves) and lost most of the attributes that made everyone (including themselves) miserable.

Invisible Moms:

nvisible Moms are well-meaning parents who attend school functions but never, ever say a word. They have a few close friendships with other Invisible parents.

She also mentions “outcast” moms and then brings it around to an air of mature hope with:

I’m describing these roles in hopes that we can better understand what motivates us. If you identify yourself or someone you know here, it doesn’t mean that you or she is doomed to stay that way for the rest of your lives. It can be difficult for adults to change, but when we do, it’s usually because we’ve come to realize our role is hindering our ability to have honest relationships.

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