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That’s what I built today. This Little Red Hen took her biddies to Home Depot armed with a sketch I made from a picture of an A-framed chicken tractor and whole lotta determination. We got the hinges, the door handles, and the 2 x 4’s. Where we got stuck was looking for “A-frame brackets”. They look like a lopped off triangle and no one in home depot knew why they didn’t have any! So Mr. Hardware talked me into sharp angled cuts and truss plates.

Wow. HARD work. I had to hand cut 8 2×4s, then hammer the truss plates on. Andrew whistled with vibrato while I worked, constructing a tree house against my reminders that, “We ARE moving in two weeks!!” I got them all cut and plated and matched up and smiled, feeling very proud of myself.

And then I had to attatch the side rails. I started missing my dad’s c-clamps. And a level. I never have a level. My screws started stripping out and I didn’t know why. It wasn’t for lack of physical force! We managed and between a woman and two kid helpers and very uneven ground, I realized no way was the thing “square”.

I heard my dad-angel on my shoulder say, “don’t skip a step” and just as quick heard the impatient 12-year old learning to sew say, “just keep going…it’ll all work out in the end and no one sees the inside anyway”. So, I put the middle braces on the a-frames.

The kids were begging non-stop to get to the painting. We got exterior paint for a buck in the “didn’t want it” pile in sage green and a tanish almond color. They painted the lower supports while I used salvaged bead-board panelling given to us by the neighbors for the back wall. If you are trying to envision this thing, imagine four giant “A’s”. The top half of the A is closed in nesting boxes and the bottom half is chicken wire for a sort of yard. The side rails form handles so two people can move the thing.

I got up to the top of the back wall and….saw that the top was so out of square that I couldn’t use panelling to finish. At this point I didn’t just miss my dad’s clamps, I missed him. I gave him a call and took a water break. “Take it down and redesign” was his advice, and to stay away from A-frame construction because it’s very hard.

I was disappointed (and out of afternoon by now) but that’s what I decided to do. Problem: the screws are so stripped that I can’t get it apart, not even with a nail puller. So, out of square or not, the show must go on. My arms wouldn’t work anymore so I walked over to my neighbor who blessedly used his circular saw to cut the side doors for the nesting boxes. Poor guy…he worked so hard to make sure they were square! I didn’t have the heart to tell him that no matter how straight they were, no way would they look that way once they made it onto my monster. By now, Andrew wasn’t whistling. He was offering commentary:

“You know it’s all crooked right?”

“I’m tellin’ ya Mom…just do it this way. You’re doin’ it wrong.”

“No I can’t come help. I’ve got my project too you know!”

I got it all painted. Tomorrow I’ll have to take paper patterns to Home Depot and see if they’ll cut the side panels and bottoms of the nesting boxes for me. Pretty please??I’ll get the “Chicken-bot” (mom and dad will get that referrence!) tomorrow.

My poor birds. I couldn’t leave them in their current pen another night. They’ve been so nervous all day. I outfitted my old rabbit cage for them and put them on the porch but later, when I checked on them, they were all in one pile crammed as far into the corner behind their waterer as they could get. I brought them inside. My kitchen will smell like chicken in the morning but so what. Those poor babies were terrified of the darkness. If I ever see what beast was eating them I’ll probably get David to shoot it. Grrr.

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