Life before 2008 25 Jul 2006 08:51 pm
Sometimes “no news is good news”
and sometimes is pure agony.
Our closing may fall through again. Yesterday, I finally let myself relax at 4, figuring if there was going to be bad news, we would have gotten it by then. At 4:30 David called to say the mortgage company investor wasn’t satisfied with the appraisal and wanted more recent pictures.
Huh? Like, now?!?! Why not last week? Or the week before? Or the week before that? And why can’t they use the ones that the house was listed with? They say all they have are shots from 2004 and they need new ones.
Having no other choice but to jump through their hoops, our realtor and the listing agent and the appraiser are out there doing it this morning, hoping to save our closing. We could close today, tomorrow, friday, monday, or not at all, since the mortgage itself hasn’t been AGREED TO. I think the investor is in disbelief that a house in this price range can be sound and wants further proof.
Words probably can’t describe the plummeting feeling in my gut right now. The vaccuous sensation I have when, in my anticipation, I try to take a deep breath. My core is numb, my extremeties are heavy. I vascilate between anxiety to hear something informative and utter incredulity that this still has no real end in sight.
It’s not like this is rocket science! It’s a little house in a little town. We’re average people. If today passes with no firm word we’ll have to form a contingency plan and we have no idea what to start with, what to look for. I can’t even go there in my brain because whatever we decide to do will require yet another move in close range, as it will temporary.
For me, all I can do is wait and pray. Try not to stress totally out while children bicker and strain here in the Box Pen. David is working and trying to focus and make phone calls when he can.
on 25 Jul 2006 at 10:41 pm 1.Joel said …
That’s a pretty good place to be really, even if the world seems to be falling apart. Tell me, who provided this house? Who provided a job to even make a move to said house possible? Is it Tia’s job to make everything to fall into place?
It’s strange to say but I think the attitude needs adjusting. If you’re stressed to the breaking point you need to step back. I get there all the time and sooner or later God shows up and goes “So, what’s going on? You seem stressed. Are you worried about what I’m doing for you?” and all I can do is chuckle and go “Yeah, I was but I have no idea why.” You’d think I’d know better by now. I seem to recall some parents of yours who were facing eviction and had literally no place to live. I had a wife who called bawling about it. All I could do was laugh. Not because it was funny but because everyone was worried about what seemed to be a hopeless situation. As if we were the end of the world and people were going “Is God really going to sleep through this storm?”
Things don’t get this bad without a reason. but I have a hunch there’s a whisper somewhere in your mind that’s going “Hey, chill out. I have it under control. Now sit back and watch while I do the impossible. It’s my specialty after all.” It’s times like these where God says “Hey ocean, you’re in my way. Move.”
on 25 Jul 2006 at 11:28 pm 2.Tia said …
ahh….thanks. I know God can do big things. I also know that lots of times we as christians want to comfort ourselves that “it will all work out” and sometimes it doesn’t. Children die. People lose everything. Wish I could laugh in the face of calamity but I just can’t when the stakes are high.
I’m not in the depths of despair. Things have been worse. But I am sitting here without an idea of what comes next and I’m sick to my stomach on adrenalin. I have to be strong for little people around me and I’m not feelin’ so strong. Currently, I’m powerless, which while we like to say “God is the one always in control” is not always to say “we have no power”. Most of the time we have some say in what choices we make or what we’re going to do in a given situation. That power is what Living Deliberately is all about. This is a time when, for the most part, that power is not in my possession and I “get” that. Being human though, I tend to crave some relief.
I liked your line about the ocean. I’ll remember that.
on 25 Jul 2006 at 11:33 pm 3.Erin said …
I’m still praying that God will just be God. I don’t know how else to pray. Just know that I am.
on 26 Jul 2006 at 12:11 am 4.gina said …
Joel is so right. And I don’t know if it helps, but small towns with small houses are usually the problem to begin with because they don’t have as many comparables nearby. That’s what we have been told here. Closings here take 6 weeks instead of 3 like in Grand Rapids. Small towns seems to have slower people working too:-) It’s all about learning patience and when you are from a big city, things seem to crawl at a turtle’s pace. Did you both feel at peace about this house to begin with? Who knows what God’s plan is, but we do know that you will be very joyful when it’s all finished. I keep hearing this prayer lately- “Lord, thank you so much for all the blessings you give, and thank you also Lord for those things that you don’t give.” He’ll put you guys right where he wants you to be, to grow, to love, and live. And it’s going to be okay in the end- you’ll see:-) I’ll be praying too.
on 26 Jul 2006 at 2:07 pm 5.Dr. Hibiscus said …
You sound like you need a good Robert Frost poem… So here you go:
Acceptance
When the spent sun throws up its rays on cloud
And goes down burning into the gulf below,
No voice in nature is heard to cry aloud
At what has happened. Birds, at least must know
It is the change to darkness in the sky.
Murmuring something quiet in her breast,
One bird begins to close a faded eye;
Or overtaken too far from his nest,
Hurrying low above the grove, some waif
Swoops just in time to his remembered tree.
At most he thinks or twitters softly, ‘Safe!
Now let the night be dark for all of me.
Let the night be too dark for me to see
Into the future. Let what will be, be.’
on 26 Jul 2006 at 5:31 pm 6.gigi said …
Oh Tia,I am so sorry about this new delay in the closing.I felt angry when I read of it.I may be wrong- I hope so-but it seems to me that something isn’t as it should be here.It seems there has been plenty of time to take care of these details.But then again,it could be best to make sure everything is right and if not that it will be for your best.Perhaps God will in time will work it all out -maybe even something better.So keep trusting-and be patient.You have a lot of prayers going up for you.Love
on 27 Jul 2006 at 4:46 pm 7.Kim said …
Oh, Tia! I hate that this is such a difficult thing for you to be going through! It sounds like the three months we fooled around with HUD for this house. We got to the point where I thought- Just sell us the house or don’t, for Pete’s sake!” I’m sending my good vibes and waiting to see what happens.