Life before 2008 16 Aug 2006 09:54 am
Bwwwaaaahhhaaaaahhaaaaa :-D
I gotta say I am really crackin’ up and tickled that Mike doesn’t remember me. So funny; it lends itself to so much commentary.
We were part of a youth group 300 strong. We were constantly told that ours was the tops, the crem de la crem of the church world and that other churches modled their groups after ours. We were “the standard” and we needed to live up to that and keep our reputation, our reflection of the church high.
Our little “circle” was fluid, sometimes big, sometimes small, a fragment of the bigger group at large. Besides the “visitation”, “discipleship” and “choir/orchestra” stuff Mike talked about in his story (linked in yesterday’s post), we also met up at each other’s houses, lake houses, restaurants, and such. It added up to a lot of hours each week spent in close proxemity depsite the fact that most of us went to different schools around the city. We also took 3 ski trips, 3 spring tours, and 3 summer tours, each a week long together, and hours upon hours spent on the same greyhound buses. He’s in my scrapbooked photos; I know what his hair looked like after a night up all night on a bus trip, I know how his foyer was decorated, and what a hockey mask in the middle of the night through his family room window looks like.
I bet the “plan” of such a youth group was that we were creating tight, close friendships that would span years. And each of us probably have a few of those. I know I have a few near and dears. Grand total outcome: the ones who’ve lasted could have been in a youth group of 5 with me and be a strong testimony of love that endures and lasts. The ones I spent so much time with, yet always felt a bit like they were looking past me when I spoke, or not really paying much attention at all, even as I sat in their own houses watching movies have completely forgotten me.
Besides laughing all morning at this fact, this honest hilarity, I also feel a saddness for those parents who brought their kids down to that youth group for it specifically. Quite a few families joined just because they were bringing their kids to the best. And several I knew had parents that sent their kids there without them. I supose it was the christian social scene in town; good insurance we were all engaged in healthy activities. I heard more than once the suggestion that we were the only “real” game in town and that kids were in danger if they weren’t in our group. It was fun most of the time and I’m sure a lot of those kids wanted to be there and told their parents as much.
It just would have been nice if more of it was authentic. Never again will I spend that many hours with people I mean so little to. What a phony crock. This is exactly why I’ve skipped every reunion that has come up. What great pretenders we all were. And what a wretched reflection of godly friendship and intimacy.
If I sound jaded, I’m probably not as much as it sounds. Just reminded of how wrong it is to put trust in such man-made contrivances.
on 16 Aug 2006 at 10:25 am 1.Sarah said …
Oh, he probably DOES remember you! He’s just PRETENDING not to because you didn’t totally agree with his outlook on life and spirituality!!
on 16 Aug 2006 at 11:32 am 2.Michael P said …
Well said! I’m not at all surprised he didn’t remember you. For all of our supposed “closeness”, there was a constant disconnect amongst a select few of our clan, especially when those few weren’t directly involved with the matter at hand. You and I see that disconnect, if only because we were lucky enough to get out and discover another definition of spirituality and develop our own outlook on life. Ours is a spirituality we can only share with others. It can’t be taught, or handed down. It has to be experienced. After having undergone the life changing events you and I have, then and only then can you really understand it. You discover in these events who your true friends are, who loves you unconditionally and without fault. For the rest of my life, I will never forget Teresa and what FBC did to her after the powers that be found out about her husband. Unconditional love? I think not.
That being said, I’m happy to hear you are settling into the new place, ugly pets and all. We are continuing work on the house, with a new hope to be up and running date of Spring 2007. Talk to you soon.
Your Unconditional Friend,
Michael
on 16 Aug 2006 at 12:17 pm 3.Erin said …
Michael P - I’m still waiting to get contact info from my sister for you that she promised months ago. Glad to hear that things are progressing w/ the house. Though I have been absent for a few years, I have tried to keep tabs on you. If you get a chance, check out my blog or send me your info - http://www.hutchinsons.info so we can catch up.
Tia - I’m not surprised either. I would be found in the same boat you are in with the group that I had in HS. I think that was really evident when I came back from college and found that those that I thought were friends in HS weren’t the slightest bit friendly later. I think I found some of my truest friends while in the college years. Those that stuck by me during my difficult times with the obvious exception of one (you know who I mean.) None the less, these are experiences and relationships / acquaintances (sp?) that have helped shaped who we are and what we believe.
on 16 Aug 2006 at 12:50 pm 4.Michael P said …
I think I know who you mean…do I know her from my younger years?
on 16 Aug 2006 at 1:39 pm 5.mike said …
well hello!!!!
yes i do remember you. it’s just that we haven’t spoken in such a long time, and your name is not anywhere on the blog.
know how impressed I am that you remember hocky masks.
on 16 Aug 2006 at 2:11 pm 6.Erin said …
I’m referring to a college friend who was by my side during my accident but wasn’t there for me when I got married. We’ve since made amends and I have chosen to forgive her but it has still left a huge impression upon me.
on 16 Aug 2006 at 6:57 pm 7.Tia said …
Michael P…sooo glad to see you dear boy!!
Really, you and Anna kept me from thinking I was insane or remembering things really “off”. I was wondering if you were reading and laughing your head off too, as I highly suspected you might be. I tried to call you today but all I have is your number…no area codes!! What’s up with that?!
Mike…yes, it has been a long time. I just didn’t buy that a redhead with a name like Tia was that easily forgotten, given how long we’d been in the same environment.
on 16 Aug 2006 at 7:45 pm 8.mike said …
you have a much better memory than I do
on 18 Aug 2006 at 8:21 am 9.FSUChris said …
Tia, thanks for the encouraging email about Caleb. I’ve been meaning to email you back, but as you can imagine, I’ve been swamped at work, home, and commuting to the hospital, etc. I’ll try and write back soon. And your recent posts have certainly sparked some thoughts. More later.