Living-Deliberately.com

defined: ” To make an effort to hear something, pay attetention to”

A few weeks I heard something. It sounded instantly different than what I thought I understood; it was in direct contrast to how I would have described it, had someone asked me the day before. I recognized my own ignorance; my curiousity was raised. I decided to tune in.

That thing was Orthodoxy and Catholicism.

It is not enough for me to have an opinion of these two approaches to faith that is regugitated through the mouth of another. I realized I no longer found myself able to say, “I am not these” simply because other people told me these views were incorrect (an extreme oversimpification of what they’ve said, actually).

If I’m not going to be Orthodox or Catholic, it going to be because I know what they believe and I because I know how I disagree with it. And how can I learn that if I don’t first listen?

This is different approach than the one I’ve had in the past: know what I believe and assume everyone else is then wrong.
I’ve been thinking about how to listen.

Can I do it well if I am arguing with the teller while they are speaking? Can I do it well if I approach it with my mind predisposed to disagree? Can I listen well if I interrupt, or I am afraid of them, or if I treat them with suspicion?

Can I listen and defend at the same time? Can I say I’ve really listened to what another thinks, if rather than hearing from them, I heard it from a third party who may or may not be honestly representing them?

I’ve recently been reminded of how threatened others can feel when someone is trying to listen to another. Not unike a petulant sibling who wants Mom’s attention all to themselves, and is jealous and angry that little brother has her ear. Even though I know this to be the case, I still wonder why it’s true.

Listening is not deciding. And someone who respects another’s intelligence will afford them the space to listen and contemplate with integrity.

I think everyone wants to feel heard. And every idea has a person behind it. It’s okay to get to know the souls behind the concepts.

And what a wide, wonderful world it is when you can see the eyes of a human, their needs, their desires, their cares, instead of just their idea.

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