Living-Deliberately.com

Yesterday was deliriously happy. Really joyous….buoyant even. It was exhausting: out the door with everybody by 8 am, breakfast on the go, 13 stores, 5 trips to public bathrooms with my potty-learning toddler, a rain storm mid-way, a tight budget, home at 5. Along the way we dropped into visit friends, bumped into friends, got phone calls from friends. And through the day ran this thread of delight; real, smiling, freedom. Why?

A few things: I had a meal plan. I LOVE approaching tasks with a plan. I had cash, not plastic or paper. I LOVE knowing what I need to work within and solving the problem. I love knowing that when I’m done, I’m done. I had a mission: a renewed committment to buying reused, reclaimed, and 2nd hand items, which took me into a few of my favorite places: thrift stores, antique stores, and the Habitat Home store. I found a bargain: I can absolutely FEEL when what I’m looking for is there somewhere and finding it is pure satisfaction.

There’s a bigger mind-shift at work here though…. for months we’ve been talking about where we’d move. We have a pro/con sheet for 4 very different locations, including staying here. I have a blog exploring one of those options; an option that goes so far as to require a new language. Every project we’ve planned has been in keeping with needing to sell in as early as 6 months and we’ve put on hold every project that would have been in the direction of why we wanted to move out here in the first place: micro-farming, small scale homesteading, and the country atmosphere.

We’ve deliberated to the point of paralysis. In the meantime, the bad neighbors have receeded into a context of sorts (apparently it’s common practice out here for newcomers to have repeated police calls made on them as sort of offense method by the locals; we are hardly the first). And I have one truly remarkable neighbor, who I must write about soon, who has done much to change the landscape of our daily interactions out here. In the meantime, David has been reading about agrarianism again, the days are longer, and the garden is flourishing, making us both long to extend it. In the meantime, the days are warm and breezy and the nights cool and starlit, the exact climate that drew us to Tennessee two years ago, and we’ve wondered if we were out of our minds to consider leaving it.

It was like the clouds clearing and the sun coming out, all of a sudden. Maybe we will still move. But we will NOT live our lives on hold in the meantime. Saying out loud took us out of the Land of Indecision and got back On The Same Page. What resulted was immediate peace and an overwhelming feeling of freedom.

So my step was light yesterday. I stayed within my budget and bought beautiful food for my family. Since milk is up everywhere, instead of buying the common stuff, I got non-homogenized, truly-whole, locally produced, milk at the co-op. We bought more seeds to double our garden while it’s still the growing season. Talking last night while the fireflies flew around our porch, we realized that we’d both begun to visualize the exact same projects, in the same order, for the rest of the year. That kind of shared vision in marriage is a rich blessing when it happens and it builds a force and momentum that can scarecely be stopped.

Onward!

p.s I may have had a breakthrough of inspiration regarding the pets as well….we have seen no mice or snakes since we’ve lived here, which I’m sure is because of the cats. They *are* contributing animals and caring for them is a common-enough problem. I can manage their food and I think there may be a way to do my own vetting….shots and vet supplies are available to farmers to do their own stuff. I couldn’t spay/neuter them but I think I can get the rest myself.  It’s a good thing too…. two more joined the ranks yesterday. Uncle, an Everett look-a-like, and Holstein, a black and white kitten from someone else’s litter. We have yet to see Sacha’s pups but they are most certainly somewhere under the kitchen.

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