Living-Deliberately.com

And so it was that seven years ago today, just after midnight, a little red-faced man-child was born into the water in the tub we’d set up in our living room. He was the first birth after a death and his first breaths did not just fill his lungs; they signified the turning of grief into joy. As soon as he was on my chest, we put on Louis Armstrong’s What a Wonderful World, and we marveled at his serious and deep blue eyes; an old midwife once said that the newly-born can see into your soul and indeed, the intensity of their gaze feels exactly like that.

An hour later we sat in bed: Dad, Mom, baby, and the midwife and ate large wedges of chocolate cake with cocoa frosting and glasses of milk near dawn, all of us feeling as if we’d completed a journey and knew this baby would bring happiness and healing.  And so it is with a profound gratefulness  and wonder that this boy has such a developed and keen sense of humor, that he has always, from his first moments, inhabited a wise knowing of sorts that runs deep but can scarecely be described. I’ve grown used to people commenting that they recognize something “special” about him and have placed him in a nook within their hearts….and yet, not used to it because how can he be really be different than any other boy?

When he was growing within I had dreams of him being “born in the caul”. This is when a baby is born with the bag of waters intact. It’s legendary among midwives. As it was, my water was broken artificially, beginning a pattern of much in his life being interfered with by external forces. We’ve watched and prayed as he’s endured what is at times, an unenviable path, and have been left amazed as he’s done so with such candor and calm; his spirit seems indefatigable.

And why so persevering? Because he can burp with the best of boys! Tell gross jokes! Run until utterly spent and sweaty until he drops into a heap of happy. He gets mad like a red-head and fights with his brothers and loves to ride his bike. He can find a friend in anyone. His adversity is something I rarely see him question; it just *is* and he moves on and deals, and I usually feel like he’s teaching me so much.

So  happy birthday baby! We will watch Louis and eat chocolate cake with cocoa frosting, go see cowboys and have friends. We will laugh and remember again that promises are kept:  weeping endured for a night, but joy came in the morning, and the world is better for it.

Cat prints in the sticky goo-mess left overnight on your countertops.

Tag! You’re IT:

Sarah at Ordinary Days

Sarah at SmallWorld

Kim at Hedges Happenings.
Choose 3 more to pass it onto please!

Sent to me by another Mom, very relevant to the theme around here of late. Check it out; it’s very good for a giggle this morning! Total Momsense Video: everything a mom says in 24 hrs., to the William Tell Overture.

With the days finally getting darker earlier, meaning the near-end of “daylight savings time”, cozy times are settling back into our routine. Even though the renovation is not yet done and the bunkbeds are still in the living room, we are wrapping up playtime and work hours more to the clock than to the sun, getting baths and clean jammies on, and snuggling up for story time. For ever how many reasons this ritual gets derailed in the summer (and it always does), I’m ever so grateful for it’s return.

I guess part of this is because I directly feel good or bad as a mother based on a very seemingly superficial thing: if the beds are made each day, the sheets clean, and the jammies fresh…put on bodies with sweet-soap scents still lingering, at a decent hour of twilight, I feel there is a healthy order in our universe. Really, the whole kit and kaboodle can be in serious jeoprody, but if they get washed every night and slip into clean, well made sleep spots, with a story, prayers, and kisses, I can manage quite a bit of daytime mayhem. The worst days are when the beds are rumpled and the dog’s been sleeping on them or worse yet…the kids go to bed in jeans. (shudder).

But as sure as the seasons change, the nighttime ritual returns. No more running barefoot into a way-past-bedtime sunset or watching fireflies. Mom and Dad have cups of hot tea and children get baths and story, and the stars align just as they should.

With the age range of our kids, 2.5-11.5, and the fact that the older kids are doing school with Dad at night, we’ve found a new pocket of opportunity: one-on-one time with the littles, snuggled up in Mom’s bed. Days are busy and everyone around here is always together. But this has become a special treat; a chance to spend a few quiet moments with each child. I have no idea how long it will last….only that the thought joins a little mental catch I have to savor it because our days spent with childhood, before the teenage years are upon us, are surely limited.

And so to the bookshelves where our stacks of picture books have sat waiting all summer long do the little boys return. The pile is migrating to my bedroom, where it accumulates night after night, and I am loathe to take them back down and reshelve them, in an effort to postpone the passing of the memory as long as I can. Tonight we opened Shel Silverstein’s The Giving Tree, a book I bought them all for christmas our first year here in Tennessee. It opens, “Once there was a tree….and she loved a little boy.” Within is a tale of time, and childhood, and mothering, and giving until there is no more to give…when, just at the end, a little more is found.

May these days slow down…just a little bit. They are golden.

Great video from a guy in his own words, on *why* Ron is such a breath of fresh air.

Just a reminder that I am offering answer any readers’  questions this week…email Tia AT sixredheads DOT com. Make sure “blog question” is in the subject line. At the end of the week I’ll compile the answers in a separate post.

Scanning People mag (Jenny McCarthy cover) this weekend I saw a one page story on the dangers of microwave popcorn. Huh? Come again? I hate the stuff…it “waterproofs” my tongue. Sounds crazy I guess but I’m also a popcorn purist: I eat organic YELLOW popcorn popped on the stovetop in olive oil and doused with REAL melted butter and sea salt at least 4x a week. And I don’t own a microwave. But dangerous?

A little homework bore out the truth: “popcorn lung” is an all-too-real condition. And it’s important to note: popcorn is not the culprit…the ADDITIVES are. Specifically, the additive DIACETYL.

Diacetyl occurrs naturally in the fermentation process and adds a “smooth” texture to beer and wine. It also creates a “buttery” flavor, leading to it becoming a chemical flavor additive in foods needing a fake butter-flavor assimilation. This is what happens, after all, when the public has become convinced of a natural-food’s evils through massive ad and info campaigns but still hanker for the flavor of the real thing. See Nasty Food of the Month: Margarine for more fake butter sin.

So microwave popcorn, which is offered for “butter lovers” and “movie theater butter” (oh don’t even get me started there….) full of additives much greater than the simple convenience of microwave heat needs (see: how to make your own microwave popcorn), comes full of diacetyl, which is very harmful when heated and most especially: when those hot fumes are inhaled.

Can you believe it? The scent of freshly popped corn is snack nirvana! It comes out hot and what do people do? Well duh…they inhale! It’s warm. It’s good. It makes us think happy thoughts of fun movies and friends. But popcorn-lung, or “bronchiolitis obliterans” is a potentially deadly disease and has greatly harmed popcorn factory workers and snack aficanados alike.

Diacetyl is also added to cake mixes and frozen foods. And…isn’t this mahvelous and oh-so-typical…it’s not necessarily labeled on the foods that contain it, as there is not currently any regulation requiring as much. The major makers are vague about when they will actually remove it from their product. What is super nasty to me is that the people mag article stressed that the food itself is safe, “once poured into a bowl”. Gee…are we idiots? Do we bathe our food in poisous gas on purpose and then assume that it’s safe to eat, without trace of the fumes into the food? Anyone wanna try it with cyanide or gasoline?

The damage, thankfully, seems often reversable. You know…it takes me about 3.5 minutes to make a batch of REAL food buttery popcorn; 5 if I’m making drinks and being a little slow. A microwaved batch takes about the same time; wanna switch?

More reading on the subject: From the NY Times, sixwise.com, and an osha study. Image from stiffnecklife.org.

or rather, few completed thoughts. There was the hurting, the presumption, the assumptions. There were children playing, laughing, screaming. Where there once sat bags of round fruit, now instead sit jars of warm sauce. The moon has risen and the baby’s asleep. Instead of words, I chose art on a theme. Enjoy.

• I’ve got a new blog! There are 2sides2everystory and purpose of the site will be to take controversial issues, present information from each side, and ask for feedback from those deciding for themselves which side they most relate to.
• I found a new social news aggregator/rating system: Mumdinger.com is “like digg with a feminine twist”. It seems like a fairly new place, still building it’s traffic, but I’ve already found some neat stories there as well as submitted a few of my own.
• Facebook has been toooooo much of a diversion, used mostly while I’m waiting for things to upload and download and otherwise, well, load. :-). My goal is to learn a new app a day.  Warning: if you find me there, my photo is not so hot…but I plan to soon get a better one taken. It will include a hair cut and makeup but this should NOT be taken as a step away from my hippie-mom-in-birks-full-time-momma self!
• I want to say a great big THANKS to you old readers who spoke up with such kindness and support this week, as well as a hearty WELCOME to you newcomers who joined in the discussion.
• Coming series: Raising a Child with Crohn’s/UC. We are learning a lot and one of those things is how to deal with steroid “step downs”…one reason why this post was written on Thursday and dated for friday: the mood swings require full attention.
• Around the web I’ve seen blogs have a “ask the host a question” day. I thought that might be fun, though I have no idea what kind of partipation I’ll get.  I’d like to try this next week: email me ANY question at Tia AT sixredheads DOT com and I’ll answer it next week, the 28th. Hopefully it will be a full post!

I used to joke that I can only do ONE creative thing whilst pregnant and that is: grow a baby. And it gets laughs but it’s really true! My natal months are good for routines and the basics and nesting; not fresh ideas or original thought. And when the baby is born, it quickly receives the whole family’s attention for quite some time.  I make food (milk for baby, meals for family), I clean things (cloth diapers and laundry and counters and floors). We don’t often do “school” in babymoon times and we sleep at odd hours.

Eventually the new member becomes a seamless addition to the family. Memories of “before so and so was born” take on a sepia, distant tone. We resume activities that require leaving the house, sleep times become more regulated, and conversation is more and more about the Life Outside rather than just about The Baby.  Then “baby” crawls. Then “baby” walks. Then “baby” weans. Then I fold the last diaper and pack it away.

My oldest two twitter on the precipace of a new chapter: adolescence. They do things on their own, like spend the night with friends. They read and write and Have Their Own Thoughts. I remember being their age with acuity; it keeps me from making light of what memories they are forming. They are beginning to have experiences that don’t have me in the scenery. When they need me, it’s often to “do stuff” or “get stuff”. Now and then I decide they “need” some affection and force a little kiss on their cheek. They both still let me read to them. But when I have to run to the store, they can stay home alone now. I don’t need to have my eyeball on them all the time or worry with a mother-to-a-toddler panic if they are suddenly “too quiet”.  Sometimes the best way I mother them is to let them have some space.

The day is coming when He will drive and so will She.  The trike will be rusty and the books will all have chapters.  How much will they need me? Or, maybe the question is, “how often will they need me”? And what will I do with the Time In Between?

What will you do?

I’m usually label-shy. I think labels are boxes and I don’t like putting people in boxes. But the label “full-time Mother” is a pretty broad one, or so I thought, and so I’ve worn it with pride. As we make this transition from one income to two, I’ve said frequently, “I have another full-time job”, because I consider myself to have *many* of those! Cooking 21 meals a week healthfully is a full time job! Homeschooling (if I were the one here doing it) can most certainly be a fully time job! During the summer, a garden and farmstead is a full time job (and one I cut when I took on first the business and then was handed medical issues to manage).

And so, when one is managing multiple full time jobs, one begins to cut corners where necessary. For instance, I’ll use paper plates and the house will get messy on weeks that have a lot of design work in them. I might order take out more than once. As stated above, when Wheaton was diagnosed, the first thing to go were the chickens, the extraneous puppies and kittens, and the garden was cut back. This year, Dad is doing most of the homeschooling. Educating and parenting can often have blurred lines but we are still keeping it “in house”.

And yet…there is a perception in existance that taking on a job that results in pay will immediately lead to *mothering* being cut! This surprises me more with the more thought I give it. That usually signals to me that it’s time to ruminate a bit on what I really think and challenge old ideas that may need revisiting. So that’s what I’m doing:

What really IS Full-Time Mothering?

I think until now (at least), I defined this for what I did and what I did NOT do. For example, I think of myself as a full-time mother because:

• I am with them for most of their waking hours.
• I am their primary source of food for the first two years.
• I birthed them.
• I taught them at least 50% of what they know (more?).
• I know all that goes into thier bodies and where it came from. In most cases, I also cooked it.
• I am the first person they see when they wake, the last face they see before sleep, and I’m here all day long for any need they may have.
• I’m here for a million little things, most of them unpredictible, but the stuff that makes up life

What I do not do (as of yet):

• leave the house without them daily
• have a babysitter
• bottle feed so I can “share” the responsibility of feeding babies
• work on anything “creative” (like a business) while I’m growing a person inside
• farm out their education
• persue personal goals outside of the context of family in large ways

All of this remains true. In addition, I work from home on a business that is non-homekeeping related. I don’t sell make-up or scrapbooking supplies or containers for your kitchen. I’m not my husband’s secretary. We do not sell curriculum to help you be a better homeschooler and there’s no pyramid scheme at work. And yet…the accusation that “full-time mothering” has ceased is there.

So what is “full time mothering” in your opinion? If I hire a babysitter for a few hours each week, am I still a “full time mother” in your estimation? If I use public school for their education, am I still a “full time mother”? Or do are we more comfortable as a culture saying “homemaker” in that capacity? If a “homemaker” contributes income, is she no longer then a “homemaker” in the strictest of senses? (Maybe that’s a question for the IRS LOL!). Am I a “full time mother” because I do all my own housework and laundry? If I get help with that, either in house or out, am I less of a “full time mother”?

I used to work as a nanny for a woman who’s children were in school all day and she had no job. I probably would not have considered a “full time mother” though she spent many hours more a week with her children than I get the impression someone like Kathryn Sansone does, who I also would not consider a “full time mother”. I think both women consider *themselves* to be “full time mothers”. Somewhere there is an invisible line I draw within my own mind, and I think others do as well, and I’m teasing out where that line really lies. Surely “full time mothering” is more than just the absense of a paycheck? Or is it?

My sister recently quit her job and came home to take care of her daughter “full time”. I’m pretty sure she’d say there’s a huge difference in her availablity to Ruthie now versus then, though she continues to earn a little money now that she’s home. I wonder if perhaps the contrast will remain greatest between those who actually leave the house to work and those who don’t. I think that camp of working mothers knows how much they juggle and generally tend to not even try to claim they are “full time mothers” (thougth I could be wrong, that is my perception; for better or for worse, there are various degrees of desire and conviction to ‘have it all’.) This nuance between those who are ALL at home, between earners and not-earners is what is facsinating me right now.

So let me hear it: what is “full time mothering” in your definition? Asking this question has led to other, follow up questions I’m asking, but I’ll start here for now.

p.s: to those who wonder *why* even ask this question in the first place, you may find this post to be helpful in understanding why the answer I arrive at matters to me.

I know there are readers out there who are wondering why I would consider the disclosure that we are in the process of becoming a two-income family to be “safer in the closet”. Why such a strong term?

It is interesting to me how quickly my fear of rejection and belittlment bore out regarding my hesitation to say out loud what has been true for a few months: We are a two-income family. The first comment there was one placed by an old friend and her husband, who among other things, are the epitome of the kind of viewpoint I thought would respond with hostility: the single-income, homeschooling, uber-right-wing christian. This camp is where I got my start so I know it inside and out. I know the lingo, the sterotypes, the judgements, the haste.

I knew that they would assume if I was doing ANYTHING more than a hobby aside from full-time, single-focus mothering that I was harming my family. I know they see the woman/mother as a one-dimensial being who has “one-purpose” and that anything else is seen as a dangerous distraction. I knew they would see any success at what I did as a threat and a perversion of what I claim to want, and that the first attack would be to insinuate that I’d already started the process of becoming something I didn’t want to be.

Knowing this, I posted. Seeing it, I find that, most especially because of *whom* it came from, it still smarts. But I still posted. Heck…just a year ago I went to a church with this mindset, was excommunicated, and was accused of “leading my family into damnable heresy and idolotry”. Those in that camp see a big threat in a vocal woman; that excommunication and the following accusations sprang mostly from the fact that I BLOG.

And so it must follow that this rejection may have been predicatible but it does not change the fact that they are wrong. That *I* was wrong when I was in their shoes, looking down on women who work from home. And it was that look into the mirror that drove me to seek to be open and authentic with how our lives are changing, come what may.

I know who I am. I know my core beliefs very, very well. I know that I not only believe Moms can be the best Moms when they are home with their kids, but that Working Moms have it harder than those who stay home. I know that for a decade I gave myself to birthing, nursing, grieving, teaching, growing, feeding, nurturing, reading….and that this next decade will look different than the last because I’ve not got a household of babies anymore. I know that my family’s needs are changing AND that we’ve been equipped to meet those needs. I know that adjusting to parenting older children has been not unlike it’s own transitional labor. I know that there is nothing wrong with hard work and that teaching-by-doing that our family is a team will be a good thing for all of us.

And I think there is virtue in living honestly. Not letting fear of rejection or unfair judgement stop me, I am going to share, as best as I can, why and how we are going through this change. We don’t live in a little box, even the little boxes we once tried to put ourselves in.

So to some of you, who are familiar with the idea that there are strong opinions on whether or not Moms should work outside the home already well-presented elsewhere, I present you with the reality that there is a more extreme camp: the one that says mothers should not work at anything not related to childcare, being a wife, or a distant hobby (that also should have some home-keeping related value). I think this lifestyle is a beautiful one, where it’s possible, and one I fought hard to maintain, and for, while my children were babies. I will explore it more heavily in coming posts, but I also likewise feel that the pressure to stay within that lifestyle, to the ruin of finances, maternal health, and familial impact when either the needs of the family have changed, the circumstance demands it, or the family would corporately benefit from it, placed by an idealogical group, is an abuse.

I had to come to terms with all of that over the course of this year, as I started and then grew, and now hope to continue growing, a business that in some ways takes, and in other ways gives, from and to my family. To single-income legalists fond of scripture-charged arguments, may I suggest proverbs 31. The girl worked at home alrighty. That she did.

Head lice….the mere name can get yer scalp twitchin ‘eh? Well, I’ve learned a thing or two about this pestilence and it’s rare that I hear anyone say anything that is actually Helpful about what it’s REALLY like to get rid of them. And there’s TONS of stuff online about lice so why is it so hard?

Because the lice of today are “resistant“. That means the OTC remedies have been so overused the bugs have learned how to survive them.

The first time we had lice was three years ago. It was late summer; “back to school” had just started for the public schoolers and my kids had public schooled playmates. I’d never seen a bug for real on my own before; I had lice once as a kid… my mom washed my hair with some stinky RID, combed my hair with a tiny comb, and the ordeal was over. I was at our homeschooling convention and I looked down at my then-baby’s head whilst he slept in the stroller. Brown lice bugs really stand out on a little red-headed kid! I packed him up, left the seminar that had just started, went to the drugstore and bought RID and washed his hair. My mom looked me over (massivly thick red hair is hard to search let me tell ya) and we washed my hair too. I got the other kids home, told the friend who was sitting them, and got everyone washed. I stripped beds, washed stuffed animals, and vacuumed carpets. I assumed we were done.

I was wrong.

What followed was over FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS of trying to get rid of lice. We tried every single OTC remedy. We bought new hairbrushes, pillows and bedding. I threw away all the stuffed animals except for their “lovies”. We treated our car. We treated our house.

“They” will say this isn’t necessary. Wash hair. pic the nits. change the sheets and wash in hot water. “They” will not tell you that in some kids’ hair it’s nigh impossible to get every nit manually picked. “They” will not tell you that the bugs are resistant to all the OTC remedies.

I finally called our doctor. He called in Ovide.

Now let me tell you….Ovide is seriously nasty toxic stuff. It stinks and will give you a headache. You will have every hesitation on using it upon reading the nasty possible side effects. But the endless itching of your head will drive you to try. The utter fatigue at having to face the top-to-bottom housecleaning you’ve done AGAIN inspite of the many reminders out there that lice aren’t about cleanliness or not will make you try just about anything. Our first bottle cost $100 and we needed two of them for a family of our size.

Two months after finding the first bug, we were finally free.

The next year we had just moved to Tennessee. “Back to school” time came and guess what? So did lice. We had no medical insurnace. I wanted to try a few new “natural” remedies I’d found online that were cheaper.

Mayonaise? Doesn’t work.

Olive and Citrus Oil? Don’t work.

Blow drying your hair every day? Doesn’t work.

Manually picking? Helps but won’t guarantee you didn’t miss a few. And all it takes is a few.

Cutting hair short? Helps with the above but won’t guarantee anything either. And boy howdy do I ever get suspect of short hair cuts in the fall…..

Hair gel every day? YMMV. Didn’t have any effect on us except to cause scalp drying, which made things itchier.

All of the products sold at Walmart, Walgreens, Rite Aid, Eckerd, What-Drug-Store-Have-You….DON’T WORK.

Sweet smelling organic remedies that promise not to be toxic? The lice will thank you for giving them a sweet-smelling home and decide to build an addition for their next hundred kids.

And so…this year “back to school” time came. Teachers, it’s my understanding, no longer send home notes with students warning parents “Head lice has been discovered…please treat your child accordingly” (which practice, ironically, is what likely caused the resistance in the first place). And homeschoolers ain’t talkin’. What’s true: A) You Got ‘Em SOMEWHERE and B:) It doesn’t matter where; no one is gonna say and you still have to deal. And I can tell you: “they” say lice can’t live off a body for long, leading one to beleive that head-to-head contact is the only way to get it. I think that hooey. “They” also tell you to clean everything in sight, replace or soak hairbrushes and hairbands (even if you haven’t used them lately), and my kids NEVER go head-to-head and get away with it. I say: lice are livin’ longer than you think and they travel farther than you know.

I found the first bug on one child, while it was still a glassy newborn. I called in for Ovide from our pediatrician and had the issue dealt with within 24 hrs. It cost $10 bucks…insurance now covers it. It’s likely that in a few years Ovide will also no longer work. Such is the toxic world we live within. But hopefully my kids will be beyond the ages that likely pick the critters up. If that sounds selfish, spend a few months scratchin’ your head, feeling ostraciszed and helpless, and then get back to me.

I’ve heard there’s another rx that changes your blood so the bugs won’t like to eat it and leave. I think that scares me more than Ovide. And here’s a “haa haa”: September is “national lice prevention month”. Gee….I wonder why.

Today I did the mid-month traffic checks for my clients and took a peek at my own traffic. And whoa! Things have slowed down! I guess that’s what happens when the posting slows down. In addition, my major keywords continue to be Kathryn Sansone and the posts I wrote whilst reviewing her book over a year ago. Blog-Wisdom says make my blog more about my most common keyword search but while I may be Ms. Sansone’s antithesis (or some version therin), I do NOT want my blog to be all about her or all about what she’s about. Neither do I want to extend my disgruntlement from her BOOK to HER. It follows that, if the numbers suffer for it, sobeit. But that isn’t the whole of why I haven’t been blogging much…and it’s not just about being busy either. It’s about having something to say but not being sure how to say it, and caring about how it’s recieved.

What’s really been going on in the Sixredhead’s household though is that Mommy wears a new hat. Mommy’s business quickly became a full-time job with all the flexible blessings at-home employement offers…and all of the challenges as well. Such as: I can work late at night BUT my office is a closet and has no door. Such as: I’m still here in body all day BUT have times when I can’t be interrupted. Such as: I’m “home all day” BUT am more busy than those looking on may realize (no I can’t volunteer to run a new project even though I’m “home all day” and you’re not) (and pre-emptive reassurance to my dear friends…this latest offense happened just this afternoon so none of you are being alluded to here!).

What this means is that “mom hiding in the Tennessee hills” now has “business meetings”. She has phone conferences. She has opportunities to help her family along in their financial goals. AND it’s tons of fun and something she’s excited about. It also means that those eyebrows need to be addressed, it’s time for some new clothes, and oh -yeah… a toddler screaming “come wipe me” in the background probably isn’t great for a phone meeting…so make an appointment please.

We’ve all been working through the adjustment. Hiring a housework helper is still cost prohibitive (by far) and not really available out here in the sticks BUT I have less time to keep up with the laundry. I still cook three meals a day BUT need some help with the prep. Enter can-do kids and a heightened allowance. This, mind you, has not been a bed of roses. Because even good employees need management and *close* supervision, which is really a whole ‘nother hat to wear. Not quite mothering, not quite managing, it’s sort of inbetween and quite necessary.

Setting limits has been interesting. I quickly set an “unplug on Sunday” rule and I’m finally getting into a more day routine and less-night stuff, though I put in at least two long nights a week. Dad does most of the homeschooling, and has for the past year, so in the evenings I get the most uninteruppted work done. Tomorrow will be the first Saturday in months that I don’t plan on working; I’m planting violas and pansies instead. And this week I hired someone to help keep “the books” and accounting.

But 6 months in and things are smoothing out a little. I’m at least getting to the point where I can blog/talk about this major life direction we’ve gone in. I never thought I’d have a business anything like this but I find it really is an exciting, marvelous fit for all of us. What’s most surprising is that it’s NOT “a little business for Mom on the side” and it would be lying to present it that way. I have spent more than a little time feeling shy about it, wondering what others would think, and also struggling a bit at lifestyle change. For a long, long time, my hard work has gone to coping with a situation…not towards changing it. This is a metanoya of sorts and I’m sometimes unsure of how to describe it.

Earlier this year I read some books that got me articulating what I wanted out of my next decade; I’d finished the previous “decade” a year or so before and all the things I’d written down on a list 10 years earlier. For a year after I languished, trying to put into words what it was I wanted to accomplish with any time I was given in the next span of 10 years. This year brought that articulation of goal but I didn’t necessarily know HOW it was going to come to pass. I’m seeing how critical it was then to say out loud, over and over again to myself every day, what it was I was aiming for. Choices came to be presented and were decided either for or against, the context of those stated goals.

So rather than start a new (anonymous) blog about how a homeschooling, single income, family transitioned to a two-income, mom-with-a-job household, I’m “coming out of the closet” and saying out loud that that is what we are becoming. Life around here is changing. Life around here NEEDED to change. I think sharing how it looks could possibly help others. I know it will help me to talk about it.

Onward~

Today is the day! The Worlds Biggest Blog Party has it’s Live Concert Event to kick off the Connecting The Globe For Good effort to use blogging as a way to raise money for charity. For more details, go to the site, and if you’re local to Maryville, TN, the concert is at the Capital Theater.