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Earlier this year a friend told me about the movie The Secret, which I watched online, and was quite honestly changed and challenged within the time span of it’s running. I know there are mixed reactions to the presenation, packaging, some of the claims….and like a lot of things in my life these days (is it the age?), I’m no longer interested in the debate but rather, if I value something being said, quietly taking it and applying it to my own life.

And so I began to allow the Law of Attraction to alter my thinking. Wait. That sounds a little more passive than it was. The process began as a breakdown of some of the things I frequently said, most within inner monologue, and the message I was reinforcing every time I did so.

For instance, I frequently said, “I’ll never get out of debt!” EVEN THOUGH I was working hard on a Total Money Makeover, we lived on a “beans and rice” budget, and were making great headway on the Debt Snowball. The negativity was thwarting my belief. My discouraged-self would then go shopping, where I already felt defeated, and then I’d break my budget! After watching the movie, I changed that inner groan to one of inner confidence, “We are becoming financially free!” I didn’t even want to USE the word “debt”. And so it went….when I don’t feel well, I try to say, “I’m so grateful for my strength and healing.” becuase regardless of how weak I might feel, it ALWAYS could be worse and boy oh boy am I glad it’s not! Funny thing happens….I start to cope better with the challenge. And that financial freedom? Well, sure enough we acheived it.

Around that time my business began. From the start, I’ve had articulated goals for what I want that business to bring into our lives. If it does not help us reach them, it will be instead thwarting them with it’s time consumption. I do believe the work is a gift from God and was given so that we can meet the needs of our family. “Failing to plan is planning to fail” wasn’t in The Secret to my memory, but I found the sentiment applied. I started to plan…to succeed. Why did that matter? More than touchy-feely motivation, it was instrumental in knowing how much I needed to charge, how many clients I would need to make the venture worthwhile, and where my income would fit within our greater, joint income. I know how much is too much to take on and what is not necessary or time/cost effective. We know if David’s raise will make an impact, other than just a dent in the cost of living inflation, and what kind of advancement goals are necessary to reach our goal.

How? The process of deciding what we wanted to attract, (in this case with our finances, though we’ve done it/blogged it with spirituality, food, environmental impact, etc), we broke down what we would do to then welcome that into our lives. This is different than blindly deciding one wants something and sitting around waiting for it to fall in their lap! So:

• we articulated our need (and sometimes, our want)
• we investigated what was necessary to achieve/sustain it (in this case, a dollar figure)
• we stated what we would do to bring this about (a+b=c)
• we kept our focus on the end goal

This means, if our end goal is “to be financially responsible”, we say that over and over, in the present tense. In the meantime, things around here changed a bit. Our bills became current. Then our debt was paid off. David got a raise. I got a new business. The new income is not vague: it was planned, it has a home, it meets a need. This results in wise spending, which is…being financially responsible.

The question around The Secret is “Can you have it all”. I’ve always lived with the idea that “I can have it all…just not all at once.” This means there is time to have babies and have other interests…but maybe not all at once. This means that living on one income for the sake of devoting one’s self to babies and young children can be done, even in this day and age, but it’s often not sustainable forever, but babies are not young children forever either!

I guess we have to all define what “all” is to us. I know how I answer that for myself, in light of my christianity, my responsibilty, my desires, how I was created. I beleive I can have all that God means for me have, whatever that means. And if He means for me to have it, He will give me the means to achieve it. I can deliberately seek after all that He means for me to have and I can prayerfully contemplate what that is and how I should strive to welcome it into my life.

So yes, I do believe I can “have it all” under that definition. I will seek to attract that “all” into my life. I will also seek not to thwart it’s coming through self-sabotague and negativity. When I fall, I will confess, get back up, and try again. We can call it a secret but it’s as old as time.

This post was created for the “Having It All”  blog Carnival, hosted by John Assaraf.

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