the nitty gritty of motherhood 22 Oct 2007 05:48 pm
Where is the CDC with an Immunization when you need them?
We interupt regular programming to report a breakout of a dangerous condition that rapidly spreads and infects households around the nation. This highly contagious affiliction is debiliating and exhausting, quickly striking the environment it infects with filth, sluggishness, and a weakened immune system. One by one systems begin to break down until the infection builds enough momentum to allow for a pressure release. This release is often unexpected and will leave those experiencing it with fatigue, confusion, and accute denial.
Common treatments: anti-depressants, alchohol, chocolate, heaping plates of freshly cut french fries, and a great increase in the amount of martyred attitude. All common treatments are ultimately unsuccesful, as they provide only symtomatic relief, leaving the condition to brew and stew and infect the remaining family members with intensity.
It it this site’s responsibility to provide you with the symptoms of this hideous affliction:
- is your bathroom’s currently-in-use roll of toilet paper sitting on the back of the tank, whilst the handy-dandy roller thingie sits vacant?
- does your laundry sour from not getting transfered to the dryer within two days’ time, whist the members of the household cry for their steady stream of clean clothing?
- do you frequently find yourself repeating the same request over and over, feeling that you are talking into thin air, even whist there sits a child of grown size within 3 feet of your person?
- when you get up at night to get some water for your parched, overly-strained, vocal cords and throat, do you find that all the lights you’d previously turned off before retiring were back on, even whilst every other member of the family was asleep in their beds?
- do piles of things sit at the foot of your stairs, waiting to be transfered to the floor above, for weeks as though no one has traveled the path in that span of time, though beings frequently thunder both up and down the same stairs at least 50 times a day?
This condition has found it’s way to your household. It’s name?
OMCDI SYNDROME
                                        (Only Mom Can Do It Syndrome)
Until there is a cure, we must band together in definance of this hideous monster! Surely the progression of this disease can be restrained. Let the scales fall from their eyes! Let their ears be opened! Let them realize that yes! They too can take that wet cloth and wipe down that toothpaste spit they left in the sink! Someone surely hath told them a lie…that this woman in the house is the only one in possession of these super-powers! Spread the truth!!! Empower the people!!! We ALL can throw empty shampoo bottles away!!!
~Onward!!!
on 22 Oct 2007 at 9:06 pm 1.Cathy said …
Ah yes, we have that at our house!
on 22 Oct 2007 at 9:12 pm 2.Sarah said …
Amen! Amen! Amen!
on 22 Oct 2007 at 9:17 pm 3.gina said …
Sistah, we have this too! Loved this post!
on 22 Oct 2007 at 9:45 pm 4.Katrina said …
LOL Good one, Tia!
on 23 Oct 2007 at 10:41 am 5.Susanna a.k.a. Cheap Like Me said …
Ha ha ha! This really made me laugh.
Perfect timing as my daughter was whining at me to pleeeeeease help her make her bed this morning. I asked if she’d help me make mine and she said “No! It’s your bed!” And then she conned Daddy into helping her make hers. They’re in cahoots!
on 23 Oct 2007 at 11:18 am 6.carrie said …
Preach it, sister! I’ll join your crusade. This disease is rampant in my home. I am hoping that having to “infected” members move out next spring will lessen the contagion and allow me to take more positives steps toward eliminating this disease once and for all in my home.
You give me hope.
on 23 Oct 2007 at 12:25 pm 7.Mimi said …
LOVE this!
on 23 Oct 2007 at 3:02 pm 8.Erin said …
OOhhhhh - toothpaste in the sink and the empty toilet paper roll - now that’s bad!
on 23 Oct 2007 at 5:54 pm 9.Cathy in Jax said …
Viva Revolution!!!!!!!!!1
on 24 Oct 2007 at 9:28 am 10.Kyra said …
I would like to be infected with the virus that causes me to avoid sighing and doing it myself.
I say STRIKE!
But then reality sets in and I realize I want a clean bath tub.
on 24 Oct 2007 at 6:27 pm 11.Queenofthehill said …
That’s one shot I’d give the kids myself!!
on 25 Oct 2007 at 5:45 am 12.Sixgunsue said …
Give them a healthy dose of cod liver oil! Heh Heh
It cures ANYTHING, and it’s fun to watch them glaurg it down, HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH! Just havin a little fun.
But seriously, this is a real condition that is reaching epidemic proportions and should be dealt with
accordingly! Incedentally, you’ve been in my head again. Those exact words came out of my mouth last weekend. But you forgot the symptom of empty toilet paper rolls laying all around the toilet instead of in the basket RIGHT NEXT TO THE TOILET!!!!! Maybe you didn’t, I’ll have to read it again. Sue
on 26 Oct 2007 at 11:31 am 13.Daisy said …
This syndrome must be related to the “If I want it done right, I have to do it myself” syndrome.
on 30 Oct 2007 at 1:38 pm 14.Sue Melin said …
I hate to be the one to tell you this, but the person who taught them the lie (as in Only Mom Can Do It), is the one who keeps on doing it.
Really, moms, what would happen if we all went on strike? (stop and consider).
The truth is, they would survive. But could we handle the resultant chaos? No way. That’s why we cave, saying “I can do it faster and better, so I’ll just do it.”
The family, sensing this, calls our bluff, knowing we will take up the slack.
So, quit being the martyr, and let the clutter pile.
Eventually, your ungrateful family will see the light and dig themselves out (as long as you aren’t the “chicken” on the narrow dirt road, yielding the right of way to the oncoming car).
Once you set the wheels in motion (as in, “I’m not cleaning up this mess any more!”), you must stand your ground, hold the wheel, and refuse to yield.
No matter how inept they’ve seemed in the past, I promise you , they won’t wind up in the ditch