Comments on: How To Help a Friend Through a Crisis http://www.sixredheads.com/2007/11/19/how-to-help-a-friend-through-a-crisis/ Conscious Living....Deliberate Living. Deciding what I want to strive for and then setting goals to get there... "But the dreamers of the day are dangerous people because they think their dreams into reality with eyes wide open." Sat, 22 Nov 2008 04:12:24 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5 By: Mary (MPJ) http://www.sixredheads.com/2007/11/19/how-to-help-a-friend-through-a-crisis/#comment-22341 Mary (MPJ) Tue, 27 Nov 2007 05:21:14 +0000 http://www.sixredheads.com/2007/11/19/how-to-help-a-friend-through-a-crisis/#comment-22341 A lot of wisdom here. This is the kind of thing folks would do well to print out and hang on their fridge for reference! I have had a lot of wise friends tell me the same things over the years, and I'm grateful you've collected it all here. I'm sorry to hear of your divorce -- it takes two to make a marriage, but only one to break it -- and that can definitely be painful as death. A belated thanks for stopping by my blog. I'm a bit behind in paying return social calls like this, but I'm glad I did. A lot of wisdom here. This is the kind of thing folks would do well to print out and hang on their fridge for reference! I have had a lot of wise friends tell me the same things over the years, and I’m grateful you’ve collected it all here.

I’m sorry to hear of your divorce — it takes two to make a marriage, but only one to break it — and that can definitely be painful as death.

A belated thanks for stopping by my blog. I’m a bit behind in paying return social calls like this, but I’m glad I did.

]]> By: Kyra http://www.sixredheads.com/2007/11/19/how-to-help-a-friend-through-a-crisis/#comment-22254 Kyra Wed, 21 Nov 2007 12:19:22 +0000 http://www.sixredheads.com/2007/11/19/how-to-help-a-friend-through-a-crisis/#comment-22254 It is rather hard during times like these as you find out who true friends are and who the fair weather ones will be. Sometimes the results can be quite shocking. Sometimes they can be quite predictable. Either way the pain that one has to deal with while going through a crisis is pain nonetheless and the friend who understands this and is there for you is a keeper. As for naysayers who seek only to pass judgement on the crisis rather than show the compassion that Christ taught and gave even to one of the "dogs of Israel" at her meekest, I tend to think they too will find themselves in a crisis one day and without the support they would have wished for...how very sad. You know what they say about karma..... It is rather hard during times like these as you find out who true friends are and who the fair weather ones will be.

Sometimes the results can be quite shocking. Sometimes they can be quite predictable.

Either way the pain that one has to deal with while going through a crisis is pain nonetheless and the friend who understands this and is there for you is a keeper.

As for naysayers who seek only to pass judgement on the crisis rather than show the compassion that Christ taught and gave even to one of the “dogs of Israel” at her meekest, I tend to think they too will find themselves in a crisis one day and without the support they would have wished for…how very sad.

You know what they say about karma…..

]]> By: carrie http://www.sixredheads.com/2007/11/19/how-to-help-a-friend-through-a-crisis/#comment-22246 carrie Tue, 20 Nov 2007 21:16:23 +0000 http://www.sixredheads.com/2007/11/19/how-to-help-a-friend-through-a-crisis/#comment-22246 After observing how people dealt with the death of our newborn son, Isaac, a friend of mine came to a conclusion: "If you don't know what to say, say nothing. If you don't know what to do, do anything." That about sums it up for me. Cry with the person, let them talk to you (I loved talking about Isaac, but so few people felt comfortable with it), and do anything else: cook, clean, take care of kids, pray, give a gift certificate for a manicure, go grocery shopping for them, buy them a bottle of wine and some bath salts! My father-in-law gave me some money after Isaac died and told me I had to spend it on new clothes for myself. It was a quiet, thoughtful thing to do and it meant the world to me. It was the way he could say "Take care of yourself." After observing how people dealt with the death of our newborn son, Isaac, a friend of mine came to a conclusion: “If you don’t know what to say, say nothing. If you don’t know what to do, do anything.”

That about sums it up for me. Cry with the person, let them talk to you (I loved talking about Isaac, but so few people felt comfortable with it), and do anything else: cook, clean, take care of kids, pray, give a gift certificate for a manicure, go grocery shopping for them, buy them a bottle of wine and some bath salts!

My father-in-law gave me some money after Isaac died and told me I had to spend it on new clothes for myself. It was a quiet, thoughtful thing to do and it meant the world to me. It was the way he could say “Take care of yourself.”

]]> By: mary http://www.sixredheads.com/2007/11/19/how-to-help-a-friend-through-a-crisis/#comment-22235 mary Tue, 20 Nov 2007 05:56:48 +0000 http://www.sixredheads.com/2007/11/19/how-to-help-a-friend-through-a-crisis/#comment-22235 i am so sorry to hear about the plans to divorce. i have read your site for several months and admired your sweet family from the very first word. we are also a homeschooling family of four - three boys - one girl, digging out of debt, living on one small income, remodeling an old house...you see why i connected with your writing? my prayers are with you and your dear children. hoping for peace for you all. i can offer no words of advice here - just a heart turned to God in prayer on your behalf. i am so sorry to hear about the plans to divorce. i have read your site for several months and admired your sweet family from the very first word. we are also a homeschooling family of four - three boys - one girl, digging out of debt, living on one small income, remodeling an old house…you see why i connected with your writing? my prayers are with you and your dear children. hoping for peace for you all. i can offer no words of advice here - just a heart turned to God in prayer on your behalf.

]]> By: gina http://www.sixredheads.com/2007/11/19/how-to-help-a-friend-through-a-crisis/#comment-22233 gina Tue, 20 Nov 2007 03:25:23 +0000 http://www.sixredheads.com/2007/11/19/how-to-help-a-friend-through-a-crisis/#comment-22233 Oh Tia- you sure hit this right on. I tend to not know what to say, but instead just do alot of thinking and praying. I've prayed for you guys everyday since I heard- several times throughout the day. In truth, it tears me up. Knowing how much divorce will affect you all in varying degrees- your kids will feel it the most. And yet, I know in my heart that you have choosen what is best for them and you know everything that went on whereas we don't. I hate to say it, but you have a tough road ahead. Know that I will always pray for you all. Oh Tia- you sure hit this right on. I tend to not know what to say, but instead just do alot of thinking and praying. I’ve prayed for you guys everyday since I heard- several times throughout the day. In truth, it tears me up. Knowing how much divorce will affect you all in varying degrees- your kids will feel it the most. And yet, I know in my heart that you have choosen what is best for them and you know everything that went on whereas we don’t. I hate to say it, but you have a tough road ahead. Know that I will always pray for you all.

]]> By: Jill http://www.sixredheads.com/2007/11/19/how-to-help-a-friend-through-a-crisis/#comment-22232 Jill Tue, 20 Nov 2007 02:22:10 +0000 http://www.sixredheads.com/2007/11/19/how-to-help-a-friend-through-a-crisis/#comment-22232 More hugs across the internet. I've been divorced before, and my first impulse is to argue with Melissa. But mostly what I want to say is that even though we've never met, and I haven't even commented on your blog very much before (although I have been reading for a while), I'm thinking about you and -- I don't really pray -- but I'm thinking warm, caring thoughts in your direction. I wish I could send you cookies. More hugs across the internet. I’ve been divorced before, and my first impulse is to argue with Melissa. But mostly what I want to say is that even though we’ve never met, and I haven’t even commented on your blog very much before (although I have been reading for a while), I’m thinking about you and — I don’t really pray — but I’m thinking warm, caring thoughts in your direction. I wish I could send you cookies.

]]> By: Melissa http://www.sixredheads.com/2007/11/19/how-to-help-a-friend-through-a-crisis/#comment-22231 Melissa Tue, 20 Nov 2007 01:18:21 +0000 http://www.sixredheads.com/2007/11/19/how-to-help-a-friend-through-a-crisis/#comment-22231 I don't see a miscarriage and death of a person on the same "crisis level" as divorce. Divorce is by choice; just as marriage. The choice that adults choose to do or not do! The crisis is in the affect it has on the children. -Mel I don’t see a miscarriage and death of a person on the same “crisis level” as divorce. Divorce is by choice; just as marriage. The choice that adults choose to do or not do! The crisis is in the affect it has on the children.
-Mel

]]> By: Sarah http://www.sixredheads.com/2007/11/19/how-to-help-a-friend-through-a-crisis/#comment-22229 Sarah Mon, 19 Nov 2007 20:20:18 +0000 http://www.sixredheads.com/2007/11/19/how-to-help-a-friend-through-a-crisis/#comment-22229 Praying here. Praying here.

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