Living-Deliberately.com

I recently heard of this program, that is growing internationally, that encourages hairdressers and salons to help women escape domestic violence. What often happens, is that while sitting in the chair with wet hair, a woman will open up and confide in her hairdresser. Also, signs of abuse are sometimes apparent to hairdressers. Through the Adopt-A-Shelter program, salons can network with area resources and help a woman make contacts to empower escape while getting their hair done.

The women who told me of this program said that locally, women who are followed and watched by abusive men, have found that “getting their hair done” is sometimes an acceptable “cover”, buying them precious time to get away from a dangerous situation and showing them immediate resources and support, when they otherwise may have felt overwhelmed, alone, and too vulnerable to actually make the first steps away.

The time right after leaving her abuser is the most dangerous; everything is heightened and chaotic and unpredictable. Having an instant support network is vital to the success and safety of the woman and children, who need the violence to stop.

How you can help: the site has a donation page. You can also educate the salon you use and encourage them to be a part.

Bike riding is going to be like guitar playing for me….imperfect in method and style I’m sure but fantastically joy-producing!

What fun! It’s been a long time since I was on a bike. There is definately something timeless about the feeling it produces; I easily remembered rides when I was scrappy tom-boy, racing up the unpaved K-5 Lane to get home before a summer evening storm, bare feet and bare head and dust flying.

Such momentary glimpses of peace are more than welcome right now.  And it’s energizing to have fun doing something that has such slow progress it’s easy to get discouraged with.

After an estimated 3 mile ride I attempted a 2 mile run. Ha! *Attempted* being the operative word! I didn’t think I was tired after the ride at all but it sure showed in my lack of endurance while running/walking. Oh and plus…I had mental freedom while riding and mental drudgery while running. Quite the contrast.

I suppose a good part of that is just practice and repetition to build it up. Another part is equipment: the bike is no racer, the shoes are still pathetic,  I need a helmet and some reflectors and better mirrors. Riding in the country means that dogs can come out of nowhere and of the 20 cars that pass you, 1/3 will be dirty old men in rusty trucks who slow down to stare, 1/3 will be women in shiny NEW trucks who won’t slow down, and the other third will be kids in cars with lots of base boomin’ while they jab on the phone…can’t be trusted to even see you.  I can see the benefits of riding with a buddy…and maybe a tazer too!

Being nearly the sole breadwinner for my family now, “diligently applying myself” to work hours has become a necesity.  Not just a ’second income’ or ‘hobby’ but I’ve got to do what Dave Ramsey says and “kill it and drag it home”.  It takes deliberatness for certain.

Our American, and certainly an entrepreneural, work ethic can easily translate into massive work hours, where sleep diminishes and creative pursuits vanish as the focus narrows into work, and work only, production. I was raised by entreprenuers and I know the “feast or famine” lifestyle well.  I know “yagottawanna” is one of my earliest memories. I played hard as a kid and I work hard as an adult because, “if you don’t work, you don’t eat”.

But I’m thankful God rested on the 7th day. And as I built my company last year, one thing I insisted on early was that on Sundays, my computer gets to STAY OFF.

As 2007 became rockier and it’s routine vanished, leaving chaos in it’s wake, our sense of “what day is it” vanished too. Thinking beyond the day we were currently living got tougher and projection became impossible. So for a few months we had no structured time off. One “got while the gettin’ was good”. Rest when you can. Work when you can. Eat when you can.

It is a grace, from my point of view, to see a restoration of structure and routine. To work hard Monday through Friday and see the accomplishement of an entire “to do” list was a blessing of large proportion. And on Friday night, after I posted about the movie I’d seen, I shut the computer down.

On Saturday I painted with the kids. They’d been wanting to do some canvas stuff, like I’d been working on recently, so I got them each one and we got to “work”. I baked a Banana Cream pie. The early spring days are  bliss and we spent some time outside. On Sunday I went to church, spoke with new friends, and got a fresh idea. I drove with the windows down and my hair blowing in the breeze. I picked up the sunday New York Times.

Ironically, the Sunday Style section featured an article by Mark Brittman called, “I Need A Virtual Break” which tells the tale of his own journey towards a sabbath rest. He calls it his “secular sabbath” because he has no particular religious motivation…his was a quest for quiet and rest. The transition wasn’t easy as he went through the very real “withdrawl” from near-constant email checks, text messaging, and phone calls. It is all replaced with walks, thoughts, books, and fresh air.

It felt good to have the tactile refreshment of a real newspaper in my hands again. To read viewpoints and perspectives that are new to me. To sit in the sun for hours and feel the breeze on my face. I worked on my painting and baked a new variety of cupcake.

I went to sleep after an hour of guitar joy and dreamed happy dreams. Making sure I keep my “worry appointment” during my first lap of running has meant depression doesn’t ease it’s way into my night thoughts. It’s been a very successful, deliberate strategy for coping with extreme stress. And so are days of intentional rest.