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1 Corinthians 13

Love

1If I speak in the tongues^[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,^[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

One of the things my counselor encourages me to look at is how I feel when I come away from someone. That feeling, that perception, is very often a valuable clue as to what kind of influence they are in my life, and how they really feel about me (which may differ from their words). For instance, someone who you leave feeling happy and empowered is likely not trying to oppress or coerce you. Someone who leaves you feeling defeated or dirty, has little respect for you, etc.

I’ve started making it a bit of a litmus test for the myriad of relationships I have. And I’m seeing the importance of knowing how someone really feels about you/your choices, during times of change and transition.

Earlier last year I was trying on a thought that I’d had in a dream. It was basically this, “Underestimate me and I’ll likely surprise you. But I’d rather you’d believed in me from the start”. Not a statement without flaw, but it was the start of steps toward realizing my own self-worth.

Because it all wraps back up into love. If someone loves you, they will believe in you and your abilities to do well. They will want you to do well, to improve, to grow, to do better. They will not box you in, not try to manipulate you into their purposes. They will not cage arguments motivated by envy with the appearance of caring.

When going through change (and every life not entrenched in stagnancy *will* experience change, deliberate or not), everyone needs voices of support around them. Strong voices, who think they are awesome people, even in times when it’s hard to see that themselves. I wonder if, in the absence of strong support, silence would be preferred to a negative? Then, at least in the quiet, there is a chance of an angel whisper on the breeze, reminding the soul of potential…of faith, hope, and love.

I’m reminded of the old platitude, “if you can’t say anything nice, say nothing at all”. Negative voices are like hollow, clanging cymbals…just noise, rather than adding anything of merit to the conversation of life. In the decluttering process, ridding of noise both tangible and not, stillness and peace is found. Angels can indeed whisper. And now and then to the clean quiet, a voice is introduced and the decision made whether or not to let it in.

There is the reward of honing self-worth. How does that voice make me feel? Do they know how wonderful my children are, or do they only see them as entanglements? Do they think I’m capable and confident and worthy? Would they feel it an honor to be invited into our lives? Because self-worth leaves in it’s wake a peace that knows without voices, we’ll still be okay. We’ve cut out the clanging cymbals and stood in the silence and heard the whisper of faith, hope, and love on the breeze.

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

Not without flaw. Not yet perfect. But to be “fully known” is something that happens where there is real love present. Anything else is mere dilution. Love is never without risk, without challenge, without stretching. Maybe therein lies it’s value. So as I love, so do I grow.

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