Living-Deliberately.com

Last night I dreamed that I’d learned how to bake the most amazing French bread…it had a crusty outside and a tender interior, at once pillowy and chewy and warm. In the dream I took them from the oven, smelled them, thumped them and heard the hollow reply. I wiped flour dusted hands on a coarse, canvasy apron. When I ate the bread, I think the crust was salty. For a hungry girl eating too much sushi and drinking too much coffee, this was a most tantalizing dream. Hedonistic bread indeed.

This morning the newspaper spelled the usual doom and gloom. Are all the papers around the country like this right now? This one, The Florida Times Union, seems to never fail to have some enormously dreary story, displaying the minutia of economic backlash, on the front page. “Attention! Attention! Read All About It! Times Are Tough!” (as if we didn’t already know?) It might be a story on how restaurants are scaling back on portions or beef…today it was lean offering plates and the Wheat shortage.

I wonder though. Food has been priced artificially low in the country for a very long time. We are a nation dependent on corn and wheat and their many created bi-products (Twinkies and Corn Flakes anyone?). And sure less wheat is being grown as farmers shift to corn for ethanol. But grains have been in surplus in the past and subsidies, resulting in farmers making more from their government check than a harvested crop, have been a real problem. So I wonder…is this rise in expense/decrease in supply necessarily a “crisis”?

Looking at native diets around the world, it doesn’t take long to find cultures that live quite healthfully with something other than corn and wheat as their daily bread. We can even look into our own country, where corn and wheat allergies are increasingly rampant, to find very healthy and happy people who never eat the stuff.

So what if flour costs more? It’s not as essential as gas or other food right now. Americans can probably eat less of it and be just fine. Yes, milk and oats and fruit and everything else is costing more too….I’m not saying there isn’t a problem. I guess what I’m questioning is if this particular change, which may just be a healthful one, is really dire and is really front page news.

I realize that I’m thinking out loud here rather than offering a solution. I’m considering. I know that while I kick and scream and cuss over how much money it takes to fill my gas tank, feeling duped by politicians and foreigners, I don’t have the same reaction to food prices. On the other side of the grocery store are farmers working very hard for their living to feed a public that mostly takes them for granted. It’s going to cost to eat, either in money or sweat and land.

Nasty Food Of the Month: Margarine

Image from bigoven.com

I don’t think I ever understood the appeal of margarine. Greasy and weird tasting… ick. It seemed weird to me that the stuff never aged, never grew mold. But there’s a lot of positive press for it, when research is spun to isolate one element and then create a product that addresses that one element, and then science enters in, and the audience already eats a host of non-foods anyway….

My instinct tells me that no matter what the latest research says, when faced between a real food and a non-food, my body will always know what to do better with the real food.

The book Nourishing Traditions, which honestly changed my food life more than any other book I’ve read on the subject, has this to say about the globby-perpetually-yellow- I-can’t-believe-people-eat-this-stuff…..

“Hydrongenation is the process that turns polyunsaturates, normally liquid at room temperature, into fats that are solid at room temperature–margarine and shortening. To produce them, manufacturers begin with the cheapest oils–soy, corn, cottonseed or canola, already rancid from the extraction process–and mix them with tiny metal particles–usually nickel oxide. The oil with it’s nickel catalyst is then subjected to hydrogen gas at a high pressure, hig-temperature reactor. Next, soap-like emuslifiers and starch are squeezed into the mixture to give it a better consistency; the oil is yet again subjected to high temperatures when it is steamed cleaned. This removes it’s unpleasant odor. Margarine’s natural color, an unappetizing grey, is removed by bleach. Dyes and strong flavors must then be added to make it resemble butter. Finally, the mixture is compressed and packaged in blocks or tubs and sold as a health food.”

from another page:

” Excess consumption of polyunsaturated oils has been shown to contribute to a large number of disease conditions including increased cancer and heart disease, immune system dysfunction, damage to the liver, reproductive organs and lungs, digestive disorders, depressed learning ability, impaired growth, and weight gain.”

“One of the reasons the polyunsaturates cause so many health problems is that they tend to become oxidized or rancid when subjected to heat, oxygen and moisture as in cooking and processing. Rancid oils are characterized by free radicals–that is, single atoms or clusters with an impaired electron in an outer orbit. These compounds are extremely reactive chemically.”

And aw gee, free radicals are badies of the kind where the info about them is widely available. Want more facts and research documentation? It’s in the book. But really….my largest selling point against margarine and in favor of butter is how good it tastes, how real it is, (organic bodies can deal with organic foods much easier than plastic…common sense!), and good I FEEL. Saturated fat is necessary for learning, concentration, emotional stability, growth, and health. Butter doesn’t need to go through a huge process and then have nutrition and taste added in because it’s already, quite naturally, there!

One more nasty on margarine:

“I put a cube of margarine, the kind I had been selling, on a saucer and placed the saucer on the window sill in the back room of my store. I reasoned that if I made it readily available and if it was real food, insects and microoraganisms would invite themselves to the feast. Flies and ants and mold would be all over it just as if it were butter. That cube of margarine became infamous. I left it sitting on the windowsill for about two years. Nobody ever saw an insect of any description go near it. Not one spect of mold ever grew on it. All that ever happened was that it kind of half-puddled down from the heat of the sun beating through the windowpane, and it got dusty….”

To set the scene, the author was sitting in a corner, drooling over the decadent mail-order food offered in the Williams-Sonoma catalog. The mother of the author was sitting nearby, trying to figure out how said Williams-Sonoma company manages to ship cupcakes (not to mention an ice cream cake, flaky biscuits, and perfectly dusted desserts…).

Myself: “Oh I could just eat everything in this catalog!”

The Mother: “Have you ever had caviar?”

Myself: “No, but I know I’d love it, just as sure as I’d like the freshest oyster with champagne.”

The Mother: “You have such a good attitude about weird food.”

Oy. Somewhere in there is an adventerous foodie craving her next exploration….

Remember last week when I said I wanted to find a frosting recipe that used lots less refined sugar????

I found the secret! And the answer is: Italian Buttercream Frosting!

It’s cooked. It’s merange. It only takes a 1/2 c. sugar, and it’s FANTASTIC.

But first, the cake! I tried a sour cream chocolate cake recipe that was not the dark fudgy thing I’m still on the hunt for, but WAS, light, cocoa-y, and while I can’t describe it, turns out to taste exactly like a fascinating chocolate cake I first had 13 years ago. It has melted unsweet chocolate in it…. I think it could still be a touch moister but what I had there was the best cake I’ve had in years and years. I used Turbinado sugar (will try brown next time), and cake flour. I might also add some buttermilk next time for moisture.
They became the base for the chocolate buttercream frosting I made, my first effort at a cooked version. It was egg white, sugar, and vanilla, beaten over a double boiler until frothy and soft-peak stage. Then, mixed with the stand mixer for 5 minutes until fluffy. Added to that was the melted chocolate and the butter, cut into little cubes. I should have known the Italians would have gotten this right!

The result? Chocolate clouds.

Chilled, these little cupcakes had my eyes closed and each bite slowly savored. No overwhelming sweet assault and somehow a nourished-comfort feeling of childhood was close by.

So, like my grandma used to say, are these, “Hang Your Head Over The Sink When You Eat That Cupcakes”? Or, like Mom thought, maybe, “Just Bought New Shoes That Fit And I’ve Got Somewhere To Wear Them Cupcakes”?, Or, “Best Eaten Alone After Day Is Done Cupcakes”?

We are undecided. We are glad though, that this batch is gone, so that our temptation is now lessened. For a Chocolate Cake/Chocolate Frosting combination, there will never be another.

• today it occurred to me that we throw away too much compostable content around here…
• I could smell dirt when I stepped outside this morning…
• I had an urge to soak something….like beans….
• Sarah posted e.e cummings…
• I feel an itch to paint in tones of pale greens and yellows…

Maybe this is what the start of healing looks like?

These little ditties are so happy!

I started with a sourcream coffee cake recipe with a lemon flavor. Ironically, commenter Cathy in Jax left a note, almost simultaneously, to try sour cream in the cake. And brava!! It does indeed make for a much nicer texture. I can hardly wait to try it in chocolate….I’ve got an idea for a milk chcolate concoction, “Dream Come True In the Back Seat” cupcake. I’ve decided to name my cakes like the pies in the movie Waitress. Fun! :-).

So I ladeled in the batter and added a dwollup of raspberry jam. During cooking, it looked like the jam stayed at the top of the cake but as we later found out, it actually sank to the bottom. The frosting had to be done twice, after I found out the hard way how nasty “rose” food coloring can look and how grainy butter cream that has had a skimped-upon amount of sugar added can be. YUCK. Though I do pine and long for a frosting that has the same texture as a fluffy buttercream with much less refined sugar…..

I started over with a fresh batch, raspberry extract, and a prettier pink for coloring. The result is a very springy, happy cake…all but that jam center. It really is overkill. This cupcake is sweet and light tasting in a decadent sort of way and the jam just gets in the way. Texture Conflict or something. Maybe like frizzy hair and rainy days….

Well done this could be the “Great Hair Day Cupcake”. A little tweaking and thus it shall be named.

Yesterday I continued the search for the perfect chocolate cake…I tried a recipe that used melted unsweetened chocolate instead of cocoa powder. I divided the batter into halves so I could try two of my dreamed-of cupcakes, Chocolate Mint and peanut butter cup.

They baked beautifully. I pushed a Reece’s miniature into the center of all the peanut butter ones and I used peppermint extract in the batter of the mint side. Then I gathered a new chocolate butter cream frosting recipe and divided that in half as well. Half got more mint extract and the other half, a cup of creamy peanut butter.

At the store I’d found some valentine York peppermint patties that sunk nicely into the mint cupcakes. I had planned to chop Goobers, chocolate covered peanuts, over the peanut butter ones but I instead went with chopped Reece’s cups, on my Dad’s recommendation that I should “keep things soft”.

The result? I think they are pretty, though I’m not sure I have them decadent/fancy enough….the cake was DRY so I’m still not there on that recipe. The frosting was FANTASTIC and I’ll definitely stick with it. It wasn’t too sweet, was very chocolaty, spread well, and kept it’s shape without getting hard.

Next up….I think lemon and raspberries…..

Cupcakes, dear and much-missed Smallworld. Cupcakes.

Yesterday I had the seredipitous experience of seeing happiness and happy people everywhere I went. It was almost surreal…like a “Happy” commercial, or like a platter of deliriously happy sweetness,  or the sweet optimism in Lilly Allen’s LDN video. The day was warm and balmy after a week of cold and drizzly rain. The sunshine was the kind one wants to sit and drink in, bathe in, wallow in. I had the windows down and the music up. Everyone I interacted with was smiling exhuberantly…the barista, the banker, the counselor, the salesmen, the cashier. When I came back over the river the sun was setting but the water was still baby, crystaline blue and it seemed traffic was going slower just to savor it. The sky was all pink and yellow. I had a “dream come true” (more on that later) in the back seat and my face was starting to hurt from smiling so big for so long.

I don’t know why it seemed an entire city seemed so blanketed in joy yesterday, only that one person’s happy translated to another’s happy with contagion I wish was only more common. My agenda yesterday was crammed of things that could have been blue and depressing and instead there was a bounce in my step and a sparkle in my eye. They, those beautiful people, had everything to do with that.

It was a “happy Tuesday”, a chance to celebrate living in the middle of the week, and I hope it spread and bled and somehow oozed into other regions. I dreamt of cupcakes and today, though it’s not Sunday, I will make more. Dreaming of cupcakes is a delicous way to wake.

Sunday afternoons are becoming “cupcake experiment” days. I have visions of liquors and cream cheese insides with ganache toppings, fruity little chocolate conconctions that entice one to take one and hide in the closet while eating it, away from many small and interested children…..

Today’s foray was into something I dreamed about: Malted Milk Ball Cupcakes. I wanted a chocolate cupcake with a creamy malt butter cream frosting (not too sweet though) and topped with a whopper candy.

I got my chocolate cupcake recipe online again, though it was absolutely not chocolaty enough. I think I may try a chocolate pound cake next time. I want it to taste like CHOCOLATE…not just a sorta-cocoa-sweet-cake. That’s what this one tasted like…too sweet, not chocolate enough. Maybe the difference is in using melted chocolate rather than cocoa powder?

I mixed the whole thing by hand again, doing my “200 strokes” and she’s right…doing things the long way sometimes can be quite zen. (BTW…check out her great header; someone painted that and I think it’s groovy.)

For the frosting, I used butter, cream, powdered sugar, and malt powder. The result was not stiff enough and definitely toooooo sweet. I topped them with a whopper and more crushed whoppers.

The result? Cute and sweet.

I think next time I’ll try a malted cupcake with a dark chocolate frosting, topped with crushed whoppers. This result fell short of how they tasted in my dream ;-). Oh, and I didn’t take this with a sepia setting but it kinda looks like that ‘eh?

I’ve been “reading” this blog the last few days…okay, confession: not reading, just scanning it for the beautiful and indulgent cupcake photography. I’m not headed to the kitchen to make any of these but I do sit and pout that there is not a similar bakery anywhere near me offering these tidbits.

And lest anyone take from the title any nasty little thoughts, the shots on the blog include only fluffy frosting, dainty cakes, and bodacious toppings that fun to look upon, will make you salivate to taste, and stop the car the next time you pass a bakery.

I have noticed recently a little popularity trend regarding cupcakes….Katie Holmes has been quoted often about her love of cupcakes, even buying them for the whole crew on one of her movies. Katie Holmes being who she is of course, Mrs. Tom Cruise, she has egads of followers and so the little cupcake now reguarly makes appearances in the celebrity tabloid magazines (yes, I read them). Earlier this year I went to a friend’s beach house and in a white bakery box was a selection of truly gourmet cupcakes…these were not the yellow and white nasties offered in grocery stores, with their pyramids of shortening-and-sugar gloppy frosting and preservative-laden day old cake bases. Each one was a tribute to some larger version of itself…a whole cake…and someone had taken great care to make each one a miniature masterpiece. My friends there cut them in pieces so we could each savor the different flavors…these were not for inhaling and wiping one’s mouth on the back of our sleeves!

Even the word, “cupcake” is sweet. Sweet enough to become a woman’s nickname, a term of endearment. It’s got to be one of the smiliest desserts…”cheesecake” sounds rich, “pie” sounds homey, “creme brulee” sounds difficult. But say “cupcake” and I think of yellow and white gingham, aprons, freckles, picnics, kisses that make noses bump and faces giggle…

Maybe cupcakes in their tiny simplicity and bliss is sort of the antithesis of where I “am” right now. And maybe that’s exactly the reason I woke up today wanting one…specifically, a chocolate one with chocolate frosting…real, cocoa-y, buttery. Uh, I also wanted it served with a margarita for breakfast, which is also probably a symptom of where I am right now, but nevermindthat.

Cupcakes’ renewed popularity has worked to it’s favor. There are now blogs devoted to cupcakes, their history, recipes, photos, and frosting choices. Websites offering them for weddings (my friend recenly had beautiful cupcakes at his wedding), birthdays, graduations…major events that used to, without hesitation, use full-sized cakes. And no longer is your cupcake choice to take a box cake mix and just choose the muffin tin option…recipes are designed to make them from scratch with ease.

I found a yellow buttermilk cupcake recipe that we had all the ingredients for, and a cream cheese chocolate frosting recipe I thought I’d give a try. Unlike my usual “dump it all in the mixer and go” style for baking/cooking/loading my van, I decided to be more ritualistic about it today. I measured. And, I mixed my dry separately and my liquids in another bowl. Wait, wait…it gets better! I also skipped the elecric mixer and put in my “200 strokes by hand”.

Okay, forgive the enthusiasm. I watched Waitress this week, a FANTASTIC movie that sometimes hit a little too close to home, I didn’t want to see end, and included pie making scenes that would drive any woman to the kitchen to make food with deliberate joy. Watch it…you won’t be sorry.

So anyway, back to the cupcakes. I halved the recipe I found because we don’t need to overeat to enjoy baking, and they rose beautifully and quickly. They cooled quickly too. I think the whole mix-to-bake-to cool and frost took under 45 minutes for 1 dozen cupcakes.

To frost them, I swirled them upside down in the bowl. I’ve kind of always wanted to do that, having seen it on a cooking show about 15 years ago. It worked pretty well. I got even coverage, with only a few dabs with the spatula needed here and there. To that I added sprinkles and a little flower.

The result was yummy but could have been better. The cream cheese in the frosting competes with the buttermilk in the cake too much; a pure cocoa frosting would have been a better choice. The cake itself was soft and I had more than one creative idea strike me while I was working with them.

Favorite tip: use a ladle to scoop batter into your papers. Zero mess.

Here’s the recipe I used:

Buttermilk Cupcakes:

makes 12

2c. flour

1 t. baking powder

1 t. baking soda

3/4 t. salt

1 c. sugar

1 c. butter, softened

1 t. vanilla

2 eggs

1c. buttermilk

Mix dry. Mix wet. Blend. pour. bake at 350.

Chocolate Cream Cheese Frosting:

makes enough to modestly frost 12 cupcakes, plus have some left for dipping pretzles into later!

1/2 stick butter, softened

1/2 block cream cheese, softened

about a cup of powdered sugar

about 1/2 cup of cocoa (okay, I didn’t measure that part; add in intervals and taste till you’re happy)

Over recent weeks we’ve seen quite a few new foods come our way, each their own little adventure. One of my Living Deliberately goals for the year is to get back to whole foods, Nourishing Traditions foods, and from that lifestyle/book there are many things I’ve yet to try. Not all the new foods I’ve had this winter would qualify as a traditional food in the ancient sense but all have been really fun! In fact, there hasn’t been a dud in the bunch.

Nourishing Tradition’s Cassoulet (French Bean Casserole), made with goat and duck. I usually make this with beef and chicken, not having access to the lamb and duck it calls for. But we had homegrown goat meat available and at christmas, ducks are in most stores. That led to a holiday Cassoulet, that rich, ney almost decadent, dinner casserole that begs for a dry wine and crust of bread. I was honestly nervous about goat meat and skeptical of the growing goat market that led my friend to raise them for meat in the first place. But the Cassoulet has a lot of mingling of flavors…you saute onion and celery, soak beans, add spices, and top it with sausage and cheese. I honestly could not tell the tender goat meat from beef roast.

Duck meat, which became three meals: We (my friend and I) purchased the long, skinny duck, thinking we’d only use it for the Cassoulet. But that night we needed an easy dinner and the duck was thawed, so we roasted it. I cut the legs and thighs away for the Cassoulet and we had the rest for that night’s dinner. Much like chicken’s dark meat, my friend felt there wasn’t enough difference with it to buy it again. And at elevated prices, maybe not. But I liked how it was sweeter than chicken; I could see why it’s usually topped with a fruit glaze of some sort. It was fattier (which makes it a good choice for Cassoulet) and tastier. A little went a long way in the satisfaction department. That led to a Duck Carcass, which we threw into the stock pot and simmered overnight with a ton of veggies. The result was a rich duck broth that became soup two days later.

Moose Stew: Game is a traditional food that our mainstream culture has deviated away from for a variety of reasons; availabilty and cultivation ease being two primary ones I’m sure. But my friend also had a good portion of Moose in her freezer! I’m wary of things tasting “gamey” (bad memories of a not-so-great serving of venison as a child) so the same Goat-Skepticism repeated itself. I think the cut was a tenderloin, slow cooked with typical stew veggies, spices, and broth. The result? Fall-apart tender meat in a stew that was hearty and filling and I’m not sure I’d have known it wasn’t beef if she hadn’t have told me. It was more flavorful than the beef I’ve been buying in recent years…maybe it had a natural amount of umami ? (which naturally occurs with proteins and does not necessarily need the quick-trip-to umami that MSG provides).

Home Grown pork: My friend also raised pigs and they slaughtered a bunch this past fall. My first night at her house she served pork chops and veggies….typical Americana meal right? Well kinda. Because there was nothing typical about those pork chops! They tastes like the chops of my childhood, meaning the difference could be tasted between them and dried out white-meat chicken! I stopped buying pork a few years ago because it tastes like chicken anyway due to the feeding/leanness of it. “The Other White Meat” is always tasteless and dry. Not these…meaty, “porky” (how does one describe a tender and juicy pork chop, with just the right amount of browned edge?). It was weeknight nirvana.

Kombucha: Okay…weird. On the counter, for weeks at a time, containing two NT baddies: white sugar and black tea, sat two big jars, each topped with some kind of egg-white floaty thing and a sheet of paper towel. This would be Kombucha, a traditional drink in the NT cookbook, that is fermented with a “kombucha mushroom”. This “symbiotic colony of bacteria” starts with a “mother” that grows a “baby” , ferments the tea (not alchoholic), and somehow removes the negative qualities of the sugar and tea. The result is an amazinging refreshing drink that also boosts the immune system and settles nausea. Which, by the way, turned out to be a huge deal because between my friend and I we had 8 children and 3 adults…and over our trip every single one of us took a turn with a 24 hr. puke virus. That’s a lot of vomit. And glasses of Kombucha were invaluable! It really does settle the nausea, keep one hydrated on something better than gatorade, and moves the bug through the system quickly. One nearby Kombucha maker experiments with many teas…his Coconut version was heavenly. He also had a Thai variety and a blueberry. It all depends on the tea chosen. I was won over but alas, I left my “Boocha Baby” behind  accidentally. I think the NT cookbook has a mail order resource.

SUSHI: I saved my hands-down favorite for last. For years I’ve wanted to try sushi but have always been too nervous and intimidated by the price to experiment with alone. The “raw” factor is part of that. On one of my “gosh this a awfully bad and nasty day” holes recently, a friend who knew I needed a hug and a little adventure took me out to a Japenese buffet that had newly opened. It was beautiful…all that fresh food laid out in pretty rows, the Hibachi grill nearby, and warming soup ready to be customized…the entire atmosphere was calming and comforting and exciting at the same time. My friend knew her sushi and guided me through each choice. She taught me the ginger and wasabi methods and I continued to work on my chopsticks mastery, albeit clumsily. And Oh. My. Word. Each bite was utterly fantastic. The white tuna was indeed buttery and soft, just like she said. The spicy roll was bright and had layered flavors that oozed umami most definitely. And I have been surprised at how addictive this stuff seems to be!! I crave sushi almost day now! My mouth waters just at the memory. Each bite so satisfying and fresh and wholesome-feeling; I have wondered and scolded myself more than once for letting it take so long for me to try it. Oh the sushi I have missed! May there be many chances to make up for it!!

Indeed, food recently has been a joy. My children and I have had yummy meals made lovingly by friends who’ve ministered through cuisine, we’ve eaten things in the height of their element and not been disappointed. I learned how to make bacon in the oven, savored local foods ordinarily not available to me, and was happily reminded that being afraid to try something new is usually silly. Take a bite, take a little risk, let your mouth be filled with new flavor. The world opens when you do!

The Living Deliberately Goal: Eat a diet that is nearly all whole foods, as organic and locally grown as possible.

Broken Down: While traveling, keep it to whole foods and avoid processed junk.

In usual circumstances, I’m a true home-body. I love to nest, love routine, love stability and structure. My happiest days are just after grocery shopping, looking at a pantry full of glass jars of beans and grains, and a fridge crammed full with rich, whole dairy and colorful produce. My co-op has bins of beautiful bulk items, honey dripping into bottles brought from home, with wooden floors and hip music playing in the background. I’ve frequently felt homesick in the past weeks and one of the places I long to return to is 3 Rivers, if not for a full grocery list, maybe at least for some cream top yogurt and coconut almond granola.

Living on the road has not been awful; I’ve had cozy places to stay, mom’s homey cooking now and then, warm dinners with friends, and there was the turkey-crammed holiday in there as well. Still, not so long ago I was cooking 21 meals a week, completely from scratch, surrounded by my own tools and ingredients. There is a contrast, no bones about it. Margarine exists in others’ fridges! Fast food means lots of soda offerings. There’s no co-op in this small town and finding whole milk is as good as it’s gonna get…forget finding non-homogenized or (shhh….) raw options. For weeks I couldn’t even find my way around a kitchen with a wit of sense.

This is where having a “seasonal” attitude has helped tremendously. This won’t last forever. The thought behind the meal matters much more sometimes than the actual content. And, making good choices hasn’t been impossible. For instance:

• I can always get water to drink, no matter where I go. That is a luxury in many parts of the world! So, NO SODA.
• A box of Frosted Mini Wheats has been a constant friend. A good dose of fiber, a filling meal in a pinch, and much cheaper than eating out…it’s also a comfort food of mine.
• Veggies can be had at least once a day, every day. Salad with dinner or carrot sticks to snack on or a side of peas. Getting some green while on the road is easier than it used to be.
• I’ve been eating foods containing MSG here and there, simply because it’s in SO MUCH and is often unavoidable without hurting someone’s feelings. And a grace has been that I’ve not had a single headache from it, a change from my usual reaction.
• I also have a box of granola bars in the car and a jar of roasted peanuts for a quick protein-jolt. There are bottled waters in the back and when I’m traveling far, milk in the cooler. I never used to pack snacks and I’m finding that this change in behavior has been a smart and helpful one.

I know/hope the day returns when I chart a week’s meals and head to my various grocery stores to get our “usual” foods again. In the meantime, it’s a comfort to realize that health doesn’t need to be abandoned just because the old context was removed. It feels good to see how far resiliency and flexibility can stretch a person, and how elements of value can exist in many realms. And, while it’s easy to make a little idol out of organic living, people always come before ideas. So, “please pass the margarine”.

My friend Richard is blogging again (so glad to see it!) and his post on coffee, soda, and energy drinks was a great testimonial today of how to take a habit and change it deliberately. I maintain that the world is better with Tia-slightly-caffinated than Tia-uncaffinated, so my morning cup of remains a ritual preserved, but I got a good dose of encouragment on the soda/energy drink front. Energy drinks are an especially large pet peeve of mine because they seem marketed to teens and kids, which makes me sick. Check his post out…anyone contemplating giving up soda and/or caffine for the new year may find it a little boost to get started.

All healthy and organic thoughts aside….when things get a little hairy, the munchies sometimes attack. I’ve easily lost 15 lbs in the last month and I’m running almost daily as well; as a result, I’m finding that around 4pm I get a hankering for the junkiest food I can find. It’s not binging per se…it’s not the amount I’m after but rather the rush an old comfort food can provide.  I’ve been out of the snack aisle for a very long time; after all, chips, alchohol, and transfatty cupcakes are hardly part of a healthy lifestyle OR a Total Money Makeover. In my absense I’ve found a couple of new things have shown up and while I don’t expect them to be long-term buddies of mine, they’ve fixed my craving a time or two this week. So without further adieu, here are my favorite guilty pleasures as of late:

Doritos Collisions, Hot Wings/Blue Cheese flavor. I won’t even look at the ingredient list on these baddies but they are FANTASTIC as a craving satisfier. I can’t often get a pile of actual hot wings and a few of these will take care of an itch for them indeed.

And true to my salty/chocolate snack trend, they make me crave dark chocolate, which is easily solved with a bite of Dove Dark or a truffle or whatever……

And washed down with:

They only recently started distributing this in my state and it’s still an occassional-only-treat but c’mon…few things go better with anything “hot wings” than a cold beer and this lager is the ONLY one I like. It’s freakin’ fantastic.

So, the day is soon coming where I’ll have crock pots of beans and rice, bowls of granola and oatmeal, and organic milk in the fridge. I hope the day is coming that I will again have a big garden abounding with fresh veggies and herbs. But now and then, in this transitory time, a little snack bliss is a good thing.